Back when I was just starting as a reporter at a newspaper in 1994 or 1995, I fielded a telephone call from somebody who was claiming that their neighbor was doing all kinds of ridiculous stuff to their property. It was a great story, they told it well and I thought it would make for great copy in the next day’s newspaper.

My editor looked at me like I was wasting his time before 10 words got out of my mouth. He asked, “Have they filed a complaint with the police?” I didn’t know, so called the person back. They said they hadn’t. I asked if they were going to. He said that he hoped a story in the newspaper would be enough to shame the guy into behaving. He didn’t really want to get the police involved. I told my editor and he said we wouldn’t be pursuing it. Until the caller was going to document his claim through official channels, we wouldn’t be reporting about it.

Twenty-two years later, apparently Twitter is now an official channel.

I’m having a deep reaction to the ongoing news cycle of sexually inappropriate behavior in Hollywood, Washington and elsewhere, but I guess as someone who was very well-known in his little corner of the world when a similar thing happened to me – coupled with the pings of PTSD I get when talking about it – it would be more surprising if I wasn’t having a reaction.

First things first: Anybody who has criminally violated anybody else sexually should be held accountable in a court of law for their actions, as I was. It shouldn’t matter if it was 25 days or 25 years ago. Statutes of limitations are ridiculous in these cases. How is it that if a perpetrator does something wrong and then outlasts a clock, they get away with it?

I am grateful for the intervention of law enforcement officials which led to my intense introduction to recovery and the journey I continue on today, nearly four years later. I hope that the famous and powerful men who have committed these crimes are able to seriously devote themselves to understanding why they made the choices they did and how to refrain from making them in the future.

I did most of what I was accused of (which you can read about in plenty of other blog entries) and never denied it to police. While I did plead not guilty at first, it was a procedural move made at the advice of my lawyer that 99.9% of defendants make to hopefully end up with a more favorable outcome.

One of the things that I’m feeling watching these stories come out is the sense of helplessness for some of these men who perhaps did not break the law, but made horrible choices, not recognizing the consequences and who will now be paying for it for the rest of their lives. I feel even more helpless for the men who have been accused of either inappropriate or criminal behavior, but perhaps didn’t do it at all.

Take for instance, the case of Charlie Sheen. A friend of Corey Haim, who has been dead nearly a decade, claims that Haim told him that when Haim was a young teen on the set of the 1980s movie Lukas, a much-older Charlie Sheen had sex with Haim. Sheen denied these charges and even Haim’s mother said she knows it wasn’t true.

Ignoring Sheen’s reputation as a womanizer for the last two decades, there appears to be nothing to this case other than a friend of someone who has been dead for years making an unprovable claim. Even Corey Feldman, who is championing a movie to expose pedophiles in Hollywood and was Haim’s best friend, said that he had nothing to support the story.

But can you ignore Sheen’s reputation over the last 20 years? Isn’t that the part that makes the claim seems plausible? If this was a different actor with no womanizing reputation, would you have a harder time accepting it on its surface?

If the assumption is that any person can write anything on Twitter and it is 100% true, we no longer have a need for a criminal justice system. The same goes for any report in the media, whether it’s a liberal or conservative outlet. Reading Twitter reaction or comment sections on various websites shows that this wave of stories is little more than just another tool by which to bash the opposition.

Following my arrest, before I ever made a court appearance, before any evidence ever went to a grand jury or a judge, my case was tried in the court of public opinion. The public didn’t, and still doesn’t know what actually went down and what I did or didn’t do, but for a significant segment of people, those facts were insignificant details. If I had actually been wrongly accused, I don’t think things would have been all that different.

At some point in the near future, this cycle of news stories will slow down. Hopefully workplace culture will change for the better. People behaving criminally sexual need to be brought to justice more often. People like Louis CK – who seemingly didn’t do anything criminal – but based on his position of power made highly inappropriate choices, will hopefully get the message this kind of thing won’t be tolerated any more.

Whether it’s a fiercely conservative, older southern white guy running for office or it’s an openly gay, liberal Asian actor from the most famous science fiction show of all-time (Roy Moore and George Takai, respectively), when we are given a denial, it should then be up to the legal system to prove guilt. In the court of public opinion, I’ve seen people crucifying and vigorously defending both men. The “truth” has little to do with the facts (since all we really have is hearsay) and more to do with what each stands for philosophically.

What will last longer than this news cycle is what continues to happen: We keep moving in a direction where ideas like burden of proof and presumption of innocence being cornerstones of our society and system continue to erode. We are quickly becoming a world where all you have to do is point a finger to take somebody down, justifiably or not, and that’s not a good thing.

2 comments

  1. This is a really insightful post, wow. I’m only now dipping my fingers into your blog, but if it’s like this, I’ll keep coming back.

    I agree with almost everything you’ve said, it really seems like you’ve thought these themes through. I do have a few question though. Do you think this atmosphere of pointing fingers and shaming men will prevent future cases of sexual harassment? I get this vibe that you are a person that respects the criminal justice system, do you believe it equipped enough for such debates? And what would you like to see change, in general, in regards to public opinion? I ask the last question because public opinion has been a prominent force in society and politics for the past few hundred years (historically since monarchies were replaced with other forms of government), Twitter hasn’t really changed that.

    You don’t need to reply, just wanted to leave some thoughts – cheers!

    Like

  2. Hey Cris…Telling me I don’t have to respond is like telling me I don’t need water and oxygen. Despite all the recovery, I still need to share my two cents when a question is posed.

    I absolutely respect the criminal justice system. Many parts are broken, much like our democracy in the US…but I challenge you to find a better system pound-for-pound in the world.

    Sadly, I don’t think the events of the last couple months will have a long-term effect on sexual harassment. I think there will be a short-term change, maybe 5-10 years, but I think that the harassers will just develop different techniques, since that’s what’s happened through history. What was acceptable…or at least not illegal…70 years ago isn’t the standard now. Same thing can be said for 150 years ago and 400 years ago. Society changes, which is usually a good thing, but I believe history shows that men of power abusing it for sexual gain is part of world history’s DNA and a couple-month-long news cycle of Hollywood and Washington downfalls won’t change that forever.

    I guess like anybody, especially someone with a daughter in college, I want women to have every right and safety provided to them in the workplace that a man can expect. I applaud many for stepping forward, although I’m not behind outing someone on Twitter, as you read above. I hope they continue to step forward in accordance with their company’s HR policies and/or pursue the matter with the police.

    In many of these cases (Matt Lauer, Charlie Rose, Louis CK) they step forward quickly and admit there was wrongdoing, but also contend that not all of the allegations are dead-on accurate. I was in the same boat when I was charged with my crime. While it sucked, I was thankfully exonerated of most charges after a real investigation was done. Because of my situation, I choose to believe these men when they say that not every detail reported is spot-on accurate. I’d like to see the public not rush to judgment, but that also has been happening as long as time has existed. Twitter is merely the vessel of the moment.

    Thank you for your thoughtful inquiry and adding to the discussion. Along with providing a safe place for porn/sex/you-name-it addicts, I hope that this site can also be a place where people can discuss complex issues around sexuality and society.

    Josh

    Like

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