It’s been a month since I’ve written one of those rambling articles with a lot of little items that really don’t deserve their own posting but keep rattling around in my brain. Some are good, some are negative, but it’s time to clear some real estate in my head for other things having to do with porn addiction.
I did my first speaking gig at the Merrimack Public Library in Merrimack, NH, over the weekend. It has shown me that I can speak about this issue in front of people, despite my initial anxiety. It was a program called “Human Library” where an eclectic group of people gather and then library patrons bounce from one to another having 15-minute conversations. Some went better and smoother than others but it was great practice and gave me a fair amount of confidence that I can keep moving forward with this. If you ever see a “Human Library” event in your area, go check it out.
I’ve had three promised podcasts fall through the last couple weeks because the hosts had second thoughts or got busy doing something else. It’s frustrating because while I don’t sell a ton of books because of them, I still sell a few, get to introduce people to my website who didn’t know about it and continue in my recovery by sharing my story. Some of the excuses border on the illogical. One person, who specifically runs a porn recovery podcast worried that my book would be too triggering to his audience. I said that I didn’t think we would be reading from it, but he said he was afraid if they bought it that it would be too triggering. It’s a freakin’ porn recovery podcast. Everybody’s story is going to be triggering! It’s sometimes hard to separate my feelings of frustration, disappointment and rejection when somebody takes something back that they promised.
For some reason, my book has had a spike in sales over the last couple of weeks. If you’ve bought one, thank you, I appreciate it. I’m never going to get rich off it, but just having a handful of sales every week shows future agents and publishers that there is a market for this kind of book. Libraries have also been coming around, which is great. It’s exciting to not only know that it’s in 15 libraries in my home state of Maine, but also in at least another dozen at through the country and growing. If you haven’t bought my book, think of the money you spent on stupid crap last week. This is an interesting story of a guy whose head was too big getting his comeuppance and learning from it. Amazon has also been dropping the book in price here and there, so you can get it for a few dollars off if you’re paying attention. You can get it HERE.
I’ve had a couple of long conversations with my therapist about the time I’m spending working on porn addiction stuff. Like writing this blog, working on the next book, handling marketing and speaking gigs, etc. The thing taking most of my time in this area lately is talking to addicts one-on-one through email. My therapist (and two other people) have suggested to me creating a peer counseling business on the side. If I’m spending two hours a day helping people with their addiction, is it wrong to want to be paid for it, especially if it’s cutting into the time I’d be doing regular work? I’m avoiding paying work right now to write this. I’m on the fence with the idea right now.
The post I did last week with the Q&A had a ton of hits and I got a few questions from people. I answered them immediately, but I’ll be picking one to post later this week or early next week. If you have a question or need advice, drop me a line through the comments, contact page or email me directly.
OK, we’re at 675 words and while I could probably write another dozen of these paragraphs, I feel like I’m a little emptier in the head, which is never a bad thing.