I haven’t done a random thoughts article in months, and there’s just too much bouncing around my brain lately, so I’m going to throw it on the page and see what happens.

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I’ll do podcasts with anybody, regardless of who they or their target audience are, as long as I, or porn addicts, are not made the butt of a joke.

I taped one yesterday and when it is available, I’ll have it on the front page of the website and on the appearances page as I do with all of them. This was one of those appearances that was far less about my story and more about pornography in general.

What was really out-of-the-ordinary for me was that this gentleman hosting the show was trying to draw a lot of conclusions about what he felt was the disintegration of our society and porn’s role in it. That’s not an objective viewpoint, and the world is misinformed about pornography enough that it doesn’t need me making stuff up off the top of my head.

My view of society is that it changes and evolves. As individuals we can interpret whether those changes are good or bad, but there is no correct or incorrect answer. It’s all subjective. Was society better in the 1950s when the woman stayed home with the 2.5 kids and the man was the breadwinner? I don’t know because both of my grandmothers had jobs, so my parents weren’t raised in that environment. I know there is a segment of society who feels the world was better with that as the stereotypical family dynamic. So, which culture is better? I guess it depends on your personal opinion of a lot of factors.

As the questioning moved forward, I shared the true statistic that straight women watch more lesbian pornography than straight men watch gay porn. When he asked why, I shared an expert’s opinion I’d heard and agree with, but since I had no hard data, it was really only a guess, and it had nothing to do with morality. That opened the floodgates to questions about homosexuality and its place in today’s society, and the questions started with wording like, “Wouldn’t you agree…” instead of “Why do you think…”

He was a good interviewer in clearly trying to get me to say something I don’t believe, but I’ve been interviewing people professionally since I was 17. I’m not easy to trap. I’m very curious to see how this one turns out.

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Screen Shot 2019-10-22 at 6.15.21 PMCheck out this congratulations logo I got from WordPress during the day yesterday. Why the heck am I congratulated for this random number? Why not 1,400 or 1,500? It’s very peculiar. Thanks to everybody who has liked what I’ve written over the last two years. I’ve really felt a deeper sense of connection over the last few weeks since I’ve started writing almost daily than at any other point.

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Sometimes the search terms that people use that lead them to my site are downright cryptic. I have no idea what “resentment porn on Tuesday” means, but I hope they got their answer. The other day, somebody visited the site after searching for “I’m a porn addict. Is life over?” I’m hoping the person meant in the hypothetical sense of if they have no possibility of having a “normal” life, however they define it.

If they meant the idea that their life should come to an end, that makes me sad. I hope that nobody who is struggling with porn addiction – or any addiction for that matter – thinks their addiction is an unwinnable battle that should end in suicide. I’m proof that there’s plenty of hope. I know there was a strong possibility I would have gone down that road had the police not intervened. I had seriously considered it once, but thankfully woke up from that haze before I went through with it.

If you’ve got an addiction of any kind, or think you’re going to commit suicide for any reason, take 10 minutes and call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. There is nothing that you can go through that can’t somehow be made better. And I understand seeing it as an option, believe me, I really do. It does feel like things will never get better. Just give them a call.

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Ashley L. Peterson reviewed my first book today at this link. I think it’s a very fair reviews, as I wrote in the comments. It’s always harrowing when somebody gives a review because I feel like since it’s my story, it’s almost passing judgment on who I am. I walked away relieved.

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While I abandoned my re-entry to the Facebook world, I have entered the world of LinkedIn for the first time. I’m still not totally sure how to use it, but at least it’s a place where I don’t have to read how blessed, psyched to go to the gym or ready for the weekend everybody claims to be. If you’re on there and want to connect, just send an invitation to Joshua Shea. I’m the one who is getting tattooed in the photo. Yeah, maybe it’s not professional, but I am who I am, and that’s a guy with nine tattoos he likes wearing far more than a suit and tie.

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As Halloween approaches, you may get the typical media hysteria in states like Maine, Kentucky or Indiana where there are no laws about convicted sex offenders (with either hands-on or hands-off offenses) passing out candy. These are actually the forward-thinking states.

Did you know there is not one confirmed case of a sex offender abducting or harming any child they did not know in the history of our country as result of a visit to their door on Halloween, yet dozens of states have laws against sex offenders of any kind handing out candy? The reality is 90% of hands-on sex offenders know their victims, with about half being family members, and the vast majority are groomed over time without force.

And while we’re talking about Halloween misconceptions, did you know that there have been less than 10 verified cases of candy tampering in 60 years, with only one happening since 1999 and of those cases there was only one death? Almost every reported incident (about 80 between 1959 and 2010) has been proven to be a hoax. So, there’s another thing to not be so scared about on Halloween. The media is good at hysteria because hysteria sells.

18 comments

  1. I remember a case or an interview where porn was being viewed as’ true root of evil’ till they came with statistics and proved that nothing was wrong with porn itself but with a lot of other things around it and the misconceptions. People really like to blame someone or something else for all the problems going on. You’re right about the hysteria!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I try not to make any moral or ethical judgments when talking about pornography addiction, especially with the addicts themselves. Everybody has a story how they got there. I know people are quick to condemn, and I was once one of those people, but I’ve yet to meet the addict of any variety who decided they wanted to be that way.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I remember the 1337 likes as well. I looked it up back then. It has something to do with an alternate language where it means “elite.” Or something like that. It does seem extremely random. These kinds of posts are my favorite.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Ha ha. Nope. And also the search terms, omg, crazy words strung together have brought people to my blog over the years. So so strange. One was “Japanese wife addicted to sex with husband’s brother.” And I thought my life was effed up! Oh also, my youngest went to Bates and I adore Maine! Random thought. Happy Wednesday!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I loved visiting Maine! Wish I had a reason to go there now, other than it’s a gloriously beautiful state. My older son almost went to Bowdoin… but in the end chose Oberlin and it ended up being a great choice for him. We visited Maine so many times during that time. My husband fell in love with Fat Boy, I think it’s called (near Bowdoin). Cheap lobster rolls! We don’t get much lobster out on the west coast.

        Like

      3. I keep trying to find reasons to visit the West Coast, ironically. My brother lives in LA and I really love that part of the country. My son is a junior and setting his sites high with Stanford, so maybe I’ll have my next reason to do a lot of visiting. I’ve eaten at Fat Boy a few times. It’s like what Sonic wants to be.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. If he wants Stanford, I hope he gets it! I like both coasts, but they are very very different. We’re in Silicon Valley pretty much every month for business. So many people. It will be a big change for him. My husband is from LA. We were just in Santa Monica last week for meetings. I like returning home to moderately quiet Portland. But California is certainly a fun place to visit!

        Liked by 1 person

      5. I really like Santa Monica for people watching. I finally visited Portland for the first time this summer on a crazy long road trip with my daughter. Mt. Rainier was completely fogged in, so we drove down and got tattoos!

        Liked by 1 person

      6. So many mountains in the cascades. Mt. Hood is so often not visible some visitors don’t believe it exists. Things are often foggy/cloudy in the Pacific Northwest. People think lots of rain, but clouds are really our thing. 😉 Ironically I got my one and only tattoo in Durham, NC. I hear we have some decent tattoo parlors in Portland. Santa Monica and Venice beach have got to be some of the best people watching in the world!

        Liked by 1 person

      7. We went to Scapegoat Tattoo and then to a vegan place next door so my daughter could finally try one of those. I think she got steak when we finally stopped in Eugene for the evening at dinner.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, and rectifying the role that I played with my years in that kind of media as a writer and editor has been part of my recovery. My hands aren’t completely clean from doing the same thing.

      Like

      1. The real media is imploding as its audience dies off, with people remaining who either don’t care about current events or who want to be told their interpretation of events is correct. I don’t think I’ll see balance again in the media in my lifetime, sadly.

        Liked by 1 person

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