Closing out a year, and some kind of chapter in my life, with the end of 2019

By the way, 1990 was 30 years ago…

I’m not posting this one publicly, so I think it’ll be read mainly by just the regulars. If you’ve tried to access at my actual site at all in the last 48 hours, you’ll notice a very different look, which in all likelihood will be mostly a transitionary look until I figure out exactly what direction I’m heading in with this pornography addiction education/authoring train. Frankly, I need it to look less like an amateur blog and more like a website of somebody who is an expert in the field.

I released my first book two years ago this coming week. While it wasn’t available for a window earlier this year after a dispute with the first publisher, it is now back up on Amazon. I’m very proud of that story, and it really kicked things off for me, but it’s a version of my story that I feel like I’ve told very well and I need to now tell other stories.

The story I’m telling about partners is being well received and the new book outsold early projections. I’m told the Kindle is coming this week and will let people here know when, and there is a hardcover version coming in late January/early February. This one is geared more toward libraries that won’t take softcover, but it’s cool I’ll finally have a hardcover book. Makes me feel like a grown-up writer. When I was a kid and told people I wanted to write books, it was a hardcover that I pictured holding. It wasn’t about porn addiction, but hey, dreams have a funny way of morphing into realities.

I like this story and it’s an important story to tell, but what’s the next book going to be? Am I going to keep doing small and medium-sized podcasts or can I land some big-ticket ones? Should I focus on other mediums to get the message out there? Should I pour time into the advising/consulting side of things that I’ve been doing, but not really promoting? Is it the time to be pitching articles to national magazines? Since the religious/faith market is so large, should I explore that? Is going back to school and starting a track toward being a mental health professional the right long-term move?

I’ve been kind of doing the same thing for two years now and I feel confident I’m good at it. You tell the same story 100 times, you get good at telling that story. I see how stand-up comedians hone their craft as I now sometimes repeat, verbatim, parts of my story without thinking about it. I don’t want to be doing this same routine on podcasts listened to by only 39 people for the next 10 years. It’s just not who I am.

There has been thought of walking away. I reached a lot of people, and will continue through the books and recordings of those podcasts. If I bowed out now, I could devote my energy to something else. I don’t think that’s the right move though. This is the stage I’m supposed to be on, but I don’t know what part is best for me.

I’m trying to make this website a little more friendly to people who use their phone to access the site. Apparently, that’s like two-thirds of the audience. I hate reading sites like this on my iPhone and rarely check everybody else’s blogs on it. My dad brought home the Apple IIe when I was six years old, and I’ve never been a big fan of laptops, tablets or phones for anything computer related. I guess if you update your site through your phone, you don’t even think of it as computer-based activity.

The future of porn addiction education and the place it’s going to have its biggest impact is with the younger generation. I think the way you reach addicts over 35 is to go through the spouse. I think those who are under 35 can still be approached directly. That is an audience I need to look to connect with more.

I feel like I’m sort of babbling here, but I really just wanted to say while things will be changing a bit, this blog will always be here and will always be a place I know that there’s a small devoted, supportive community. It doesn’t make business nor education sense to keep preaching to the same group. I’ll keep talking to you moving into 2020, but I’m still not sure the frequency, duration or content. I just know it’s time to evolve this thing I’m doing.

If anybody has any feedback, I’m always open to ideas and suggestions.


6 thoughts on “Closing out a year, and some kind of chapter in my life, with the end of 2019

  1. Don’t walk away from what you’re obviously good at just because it’s gotten routine. You’re one of the few rational voices out there warning of the dangers imbedded in something that can seem so harmless. Keep moving forward and becoming better educated/experienced but don’t abandon what’s already helped thousands you’ve never even heard from. What you’re going through is normal to all creative souls so don’t let doubts weigh you down. You’re making a difference.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks. A lot of it is about making better use of my time. I know I can reach the same amount of people in half the time. I needed to work smarter not harder. My day job needs more focus in 2020 than it got in 2019. Or, a rich relative I don’t know about needs to die and leave me money.


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