Howdy Friends, Long Time No Talk

It’s been about three weeks since I created an entry. My life has been crazy busy and this is the time of year where it seems like a lot of transitions make place. Heck, just adjusting to the new late night TV schedule is throwing me off. They really expect me to watch Schitt’s Creek instead of Seinfeld?

On the personal side of things, we’re finally sinking a bunch of money into renovating the kitchen and bathroom, the last two rooms that haven’t had a once-over since we moved in 15 years ago. It’s one of those things you say you’re always going to get to, and it’s finally time. The price of real estate in Maine is skyrocketing and while we have no plans of moving anytime soon, if something came up it would be nice to be upgraded. Check out where you live on Zillow and see how much things are hopefully improving. It shocked us.

I also bought a new truck a few weeks back. I went from being the guy who liked small cars, to finally agreeing with my wife that we’d buy a Jeep about 8 or 9 years ago because the hill we live on sometimes made traveling in our cars during a snowstorm impossible. With the 4-Wheel drive, we were no longer stuck at home except when visibility made it impossible to leave. When we need to haul stuff, I usually just borrowed my dad’s trailer, but he’s getting into his mid-70s and the trailer is falling apart. He’s not replacing it, so I thought a truck made sense.

My son is back in school part-time, has a part-time job and it feels like I’m just starting to tend to my parents a bit more — not sure if it’s the pandemic or not causing it — but I feel like I’m pretty much on-call with everyone these days. A big part of my busy feeling is that some days I’m giving 4-6 rides places. And with three dogs and three cats, it feels like I have a personal relationship with our vet, who is 20 minutes away. Maybe this is just how life evolves, or maybe I wasn’t participating in everyday life so much in the past. I could still be a lot better helping around the house.

Professionally, I’ve been very busy preparing for the TED Talk. I had no idea how much went into one of these things. I was like, “Why do I need a coach? I’m awesome at speaking!” but now that I’m in the thick of it, I couldn’t imagine this process without one. I’d say the speech is 85% of the way there, but this last 15% of tweaking is kicking my ass.

I slowed way down on doing podcasts for about 4-5 weeks because I just needed a break and also wanted to devote a little more time to reading and learning about everything I talk about. It’s like history…we can follow the past and it doesn’t change, but things are evolving every day. I imagine it’s like how a doctor needs to keep up-to-date with advancements in medicine, science and technology. The doctor who practices like it’s 2012 is pointless and it’s the same with relying on stats and not following how things are going. There’s always news about OnlyFans out there and that remains one of the most current fascinating topics to me. I just see it as someone stockpiling dynamite and me watching from a nearby hill saying, “This isn’t safe and this isn’t going to end well.” Few may listen, but I warned them. I’ve also been learning a bit about how hoarders have many of the same issues and tendencies as sex/porn addicts. I never really knew about the condition of hoarding and am learning more. It makes sense once you dig in. I’m going to pick back up on the podcasts because they are decent rehearsal for the TED Talk.

If you visit my website and don’t just view this via the WordPress Reader, you’ve probably noticed things changing around. The website is in a state of flux and I’ve hired a fantastic digital manager who is helping me get things in order. Her expertise far outweighs mine and in our Zoom chats it’s amazing how much I’m learning. I’m glad that both before and after recovery, while so much of my life has changed, I still have the sense and ability to get people who are better and smarter than me to handle certain tasks, and be open to learning from them. It still amazes me how many people shut down to other people…or believe they are experts at everything. That’s probably why I take it somewhat offensively when somebody who isn’t an expert in an area that I am starts dictating how things should be. In the not-too-distant future I’ll probably ask you what you think about the site, but for now we’re in a time of transition.

I killed off a bunch of articles I’d written on here over the last few years that were very outdated, not being read, or off-topic. I know people like the personal stuff, and I’ll still continue with it because at the core of all of this is the story of a recovering porn addict (Hey! He said the title of the site!) but I expect an influx of eyeballs later this year and early next year. If there’s every something you reference or are missing, let me know. I’ve kept an archive on my computer. I once thought I might turn it into a book, but after what I’ve produced to this point, it would be a sub-par failure.

Aside from that, just trying to keep up with my other professional endeavors. The freelance/ghostwriting world is slow, but I’m probably not chasing work as hard as I could. Trying to focus on the porn addiction stuff right now. If the TED Talk is a bust, I’ll re-evaluate, but if it’s a big success, I’ll also re-evaluate. I guess this is a just a transitionary time and I’m lining myself up for success, while understanding it could go the other way. It’s strange though. Unlike my magazine that I started, which about 3-4 years in I once told a couple women that “if it all went away tomorrow, I’d be OK with it” I can’t say that about what I’m doing now. I have a couple book ideas, but am not actively working on anything and I’d like to focus more on the coaching part of things — I really do enjoy helping people one-on-one — so I’m never going to bail, but I’m open to looking at other roads.

Finally, depending on where you live, early voting may have started. I’ve been up-front about my support of Joe Biden and my conviction is stronger every single day as we watch President Trump absolute implode. I would never make a good President and a big piece of that is because of my mental illness, bouts of mania, ego and once-in-a-while delusions of grandeur, but I look like the model of mental health compared to our current leader. If you’re an apologist or refuse to accept reality, that’s fine. There’s nothing I’m going to say at this point that will change your mind. I just hope that in the future, you’ll be able to have perspective on why he is a horrible leader and couldn’t be trusted. If you understand that now and still vote for him, there’s also nothing I can say. But, as we do every early November in a year multiple of four, I’ll let the process play out. I hope he will, too.

And even if you disagree with me, go out and vote. No, you don’t have to, but it makes you a hypocrite if you want to chime in about things over the next four years. Sure, your vote doesn’t count much — or really at all if you pick the losing candidate based on how the flawed Electoral College works — but it’s still important to participate in this grand experiment we call democracy. Get your vote in early if you can. And rest assured, it’ll be counted and there will be no tampering or scandal….just like there is not proof there has ever been wide-scale voter fraud. Just because your guy loses doesn’t mean it’s rigged.

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