Time to Evolve into the Next Chapter of this Journey

At the moment, I’m taking a break from writing the intro and conclusion of my TED Talk. Despite the fact I don’t give it until December, there is a lot that goes into the preparation. For the first time in a long time, I’m nervous about something, which is probably good.

If the speech is posted on YouTube and goes unnoticed, then not much will probably change in my life, but if it goes viral, as many TED Talks do, things could get interesting. Somebody explained it to me like this the other day: I’ve been living the life of a road comedian, touring from town to town and trying a lot of material to see what’s good. Except instead of telling jokes on a stage, I’ve been talking about pornography addiction on podcasts. I’m now at the point where I probably have two hours of really good material and I just shape the interview around whatever the theme of whatever particular podcast I’m on at the moment.

Now, with the TED Talk, it’s like The Tonight Show is calling. Instead of two hours of material, I have to think about my best 15 minutes. Back in the day, being on The Tonight Show for a young comedian could make or break your career. If Johnny Carson invited you over to the couch after your set, you were the next big thing. If he didn’t, it was probably time to look for a job writing TV or jokes for other people, because you weren’t going to make it as a performer.

Those of you who have followed me on here the last three years know that I have struggled at time with monetizing my story. I didn’t want to feel like I was exploiting myself for financial gain. Many of you helped me see over time that I was too much in my head about it and the only way to be able to continue on my pornography addiction education crusade was to generate income so I could live my life. It’s taken some time, but I arrived at that place not too long ago. The reality is, I don’t want to be a freelance writer or ghostwriter for anybody beyond the couple of clients I still have. I don’t want to hustle to find new clients and write books or blog entries for other people. I need to figure out a way to pay the bills as part of my new life addressing porn addiction. The TED Talk is the best opportunity I have to make that happen on a grander scale as it will expose me to an audience that I would otherwise never reach. It could be a couple thousand, it could be a couple million. If it’s a couple million, I need to be prepared.

There are some things going on in the background now, and one of them will be revamping this site. I’ve hired a professional and I will not only be giving them 99% autonomy, I will be leaning on them to help create a strategy for what content is appropriate or not, and a schedule to produce it. I know that I’ve been leaning a little too heavy into the political lately, and I’m not sure these rambling kind of pieces like you’re reading now have much of a place in a future site. It allows me to clear my head, so I’ll have to figure something else out.

Right now, I have three books, an online course and a coaching/advisement offering that I have promoted to different degrees. They are the ways that I generate revenue. Hopefully they get more attention after the TED Talk, but hopefully I can also land a speaking agent to book me gigs once the world gets beyond COVID. I also know that a successful talk will lead to other opportunities I probably can’t imagine at the moment.

This feels a little bit like a goodbye note, but it’s not. I just need to take the next steps necessary to position myself for success. This site will become a hub for activity and I will be directing people back here for just about everything. I hope you’ll still like and comment on my stuff so it doesn’t look like a graveyard and I will continue to respond in comments. I will also continue to read other people’s blogs, although I must admit I have slacked on doing that daily. I also want to thank those who have been with me for so long, pushing me, adding their two cents, encouraging me, telling me when I dropped the ball and reminding me what I’m doing is important but that I can’t let it consume me. I wouldn’t have got to this point without you.

Here’s to whatever happens next…

Please Take This 2-Minute Survey to Help Me Design My TED Talk about Pornography

Many of you were super helpful to me a few months back when I needed to come up with a title for the TEDx Talk I’ll be giving in December in Hartford, Conn. I’m back to ask you for a little more help.

The talk is only 15 minutes, but I probably have 3 hours of material. I need to hone things to a smaller message, but since I’m always talking to people about pornography addiction, it’s difficult for me to know exactly what people are interested in hearing in small doses.

It would be awesome if you could take 2 minutes, click on this link and fill out the Google survey that I’ve created that will allow me to figure out how to narrow down my presentation.

Thank you very much. I’ll share these results at some point on here. And of course, feel free to share the survey, the more feedback I get the better I can make the presentation.

You can find the survey at:

My Biggest Announcement: I’m Giving A TEDx Talk!

While I did let the cat out of the bag a little early on Friday afternoon on my LinkedIn page (which is why you should all follow me there, too — and don’t worry, you can’t follow me anywhere else because I’m not anywhere else), it is finally time to announce what I’ve been hinting at for a while on here.

I have been chosen as one of 8 people out of around 100 applicants to make a presentation at TEDxHartford in December! I’m finally giving a TED Talk!

I’m guessing you all know what TED Talks are, and when it comes to motivational/educational/ideas-based presentations, there is no other organization in the world with as much legitimacy and cache as TED. If you don’t know what a TED Talk is, just YouTube it.

When I make presentations in the past, be it at a library, church or civic group luncheon, I am usually specifically asked not to film, even in the most benign circumstances. We can discuss the pathology of someone not wanting to be seen in a room hearing a speech about pornography addiction and what fears that causes them, but it forces me to have scant little proof — aside from the medium of podcasts — that I’m a good speaker and can address and audience. Up until now, the best piece of film I had was when I gave the commencement address at my former high school in 2013. It doesn’t quite translate. Hopefully, having an actual 15-minute on-stage presentation will show those who may be interested in booking me for presentations that I can actually deliver.

If you’re near Hartford, I’m told tickets for a socially distanced event at either the Marriot or Hilton in downtown Hartford, Conn., will go on sale in the near future. If you can’t make it (and it’s 3.5 hours from where I live) it will be streamed live and the video will be put online a few days after. I will give you all that information when I get it.

‘I Would Definitely Recommend It’

I’m absolutely thrilled today to read the first professional review of my book, “Porn and the Pandemic: How Three Months in 2020 Changed Everything” and even more thrilled that it is not only a rave, but that the reviewer, Ashley L. Peterson, understood what I was going for with my presentation of the material.

Check out her review here: https://mentalhealthathome.org/2020/07/08/book-review-porn-and-the-pandemic/

And if you want to pick up the book at a special debut price of $14.95, you can visit the Amazon page HERE

If you are a book reviewer with a following and have interest in reviewing this book, please don’t hesitate to get in touch with me.

My New Book Has Been Released!

It’s always a lot of fun to write that title on one of my website posts. I’ve only been able to do it three times now, but each time, it feels like a massive exhale. Up until this point, the process of getting a book out is very private and solitary. Now, the words that I feverishly worked on, that I think are good enough to share with the world in perpetuity, that I believe are so worthwhile that they should have a small price tag behind them — it’s all out there for the world to see.

There is no more timely a moment to read this book than now. As we see cases of the Coronavirus surging in numbers and states starting to roll-back their openings, it means more people will be back in situations which make them vulnerable to pornography — either consuming it, or producing it.

Ever wanted to read first-person accounts of addiction from those dealing with it? Ever wanted to know what kind of person it takes to become an online pornography camera model? Wonder what this OnlyFans craze is about? Want to hear an unbelievable story about a man who is slipping his wife pills to help fight the STD he may have passed onto her from an affair, but refuses to tell her, blaming the pandemic for bad timing?

This is unlike any book you’ve read, because we’re all living this in the moment. At some point, it will become a book that can be put into the history section of the library, but now, it’s current events. Even if pornography and/or pornography addiction isn’t a part of your life, COVID-19 is part of your life, and this book shows how others are dealing with it.

I hope you’ll consider picking it up from Amazon. You can follow a link to read more about the book HERE.

Thank you to those of you who support me by purchasing the book. It allows me to continue the fight to educate the world about pornography addiction.