How Does Your State Rank When it Comes to Mental Health?

I don’t want this entry to get political, but I feel many people are going to interpret it that way. That’s the problem with providing data these days. There are no such things as facts if people don’t want to believe objective information, and most people take their talking points from whatever cable news channel fits their political party’s agenda.

Mental Health America, a well-respected, non-profit, non-political organization that is now 111 years old released their annual status of the country report that ranks states (and Washington DC) in very specific areas of cases of mental health and access to care.

I can only encapsulate their results, so I urge you to check out their full overall rankings at: https://mhanational.org/issues/ranking-states

I also don’t want this to become too ridiculously dry, so I’ll highlight only a few areas and if you don’t see your state listed, you can find it at the link above.

Screen Shot 2020-02-13 at 11.10.19 AM

Adult Mental Health

The MHA ranked adult mental health using seven metrics, including adults who: have diagnosed mental illness, serious thoughts of suicide, are uninsured, have disabilities who could not see a doctor due to costs and a few others. States that ranked highest have lower prevalence of mental illness and highest rates of access to care for adults. The lowest ranked have higher cases of mental illness and lower access to care.

The Top 5:

  1. Hawaii
  2. Iowa
  3. Minnesota
  4. New York
  5. Maryland

The Bottom 5:

  1. Oregon
  2. Utah
  3. Idaho
  4. Wyoming
  5. Nevada

Youth Mental Health

The MHA also used seven measures to determine the state of youth mental health in America. Among them were youth who: had a substance use disorder in the last year, were diagnosed with mental illness but did not receive services, had private insurance that did not cover mental or emotional problems and had at least one major depressive episode in the last year.  As with adults, the highest ranked have a combination of the least cases and best access to care, while the lowest have a combination of most cases and worst access.

The Top 5:

  1. Washington DC
  2. Pennsylvania
  3. North Dakota
  4. Rhode Island
  5. Massachussets

The Bottom 5:

  1. Nevada
  2. Wyoming
  3. Alaska
  4. South Carolina
  5. Oregon

Access to Care

The MHA goes deeper with many of their categories, and I’m not listing several here for space reasons, but one of the lists I found quite compelling was about overall access to care. The list is comprised of nine metrics covering both adult and youth needs, including quality and cost of insurance, access to special education and mental health service both available and rendered.

The top states have the best access to mental health care while the bottom have the worse.

The Top 5:

  1. Vermont
  2. Massachusetts
  3. Rhode Island
  4. Iowa
  5. Maine

The Bottom 5:

  1. Texas
  2. Georgia
  3. Nevada
  4. Mississippi
  5. South Carolina

Now here comes the bugaboo that I’m hoping doesn’t draw the ire of those from mostly conservative states.

I’ve given you just a snapshot here. I urge you to go look at the rest of the lists. If you look at the Top 10 or Top 20 and their bottom counterparts, along with the maps they provide, one of which I included here, you’re going to see some patterns emerge. The southeast, south and northwest sections of the U.S. tend to score lower than those in the Northeast, Great Lakes area, and California. What does this remind you of?

Looking at the maps and their color-coding, it reminds me of the electoral map of US presidential elections. Those states that are traditionally states that cast their vote for the Democrat candidate are those that have the combination of the lowest cases of mental health issues and the best access to care. The states that traditionally cast their votes for Republic candidates are the ones that consistently have the most cases of mental health issues and worst access to care.

Did I make a fair generalization? Is there any connection between political affiliation and opinions/priority place on mental health care? Is this just a coincidence?

I’m not going to wade into that debate here. I just wanted to provide you with the information and let you draw an informed conclusion.

The Grateful Eight, Only One Day Late!

I know that I’ve been providing less entries lately, but one that I enjoy writing and I think is a healthy exercise for me has been the Grateful Eight, even if it isn’t always coming out on the Eighth. So, here’s another example and I hope you’ll let me know of some things that you’re grateful for in the comments.

To refresh the concept, on the eighth day of the month, you’re supposed to write eight things that you’re grateful for and make several of the non-traditional. We’re all grateful for health, family, etc., and it’s important to acknowledge that, but it’s just as important to acknowledge the mundane and trivial that help to flesh out the quieter, less memorable moments.

Anyway, here are my Grateful Eight for February.

  1. Tiramisu – My 44th birthday was yesterday, and I frankly just can’t take the frosting on any cake these days larger than a cupcake. Over the last 10 years I’ve been introduced to and fell in love with this dessert and for a guy whose sweet tooth is rapidly fading, it’s the perfect piece of birthday cake.
  2. Unexpected Plans – When you get married, have children, work from home and have to abide by a few rules because of something colossally stupid you’ve done, spontaneity isn’t a great presence in your life, which makes when it happens all the more special. I sat down at my computer on Friday around noon and by 2 p.m., the opportunity to road-trip with my daughter to North Carolina at the end of this month and fly to Los Angeles with my son in April presented themselves. No, I don’t get to scratch any new ground covered off my map, but in two hours, two experiences I know I’ll remember forever materialized. Funny the way things work.
  3. The Sun – When I was struggling with the Higher Power concept in my first few days of AA at my first rehab, one of the people suggested I just make the sun my Higher Power since it was literally high in the air and provided all the power for life on earth. I’ve never forgot this idea. All life on Earth, would essentially be dead with 90 minutes if the sun flamed out. Most of us would be dead with 20. Glad it’s there, aren’t you?
  4. Bell Telephone systems – Yeah, it’s a rant about being an old person, but remember when you’d get pissed off when your phone bill was over $50 because somebody spent too many minutes on long distance? We’re now paying nearly $400 for a family of four on our cell phones per month and after shopping around, can maybe save only $50 with another carrier. We survived before Smart Phones – we just had to look stuff up in the encyclopedia and telephone book.
  5. Not Being a Hoarder – My parents aren’t hoarders and with the spate of people in my family who have died over the last 5 years, they’ve been serving as executors on a lot of estates and all of these people had giant houses and wouldn’t be called hoarders technically, but that’s only because of the space they had. I like the fact I live in a very small house. It forces me to prioritize stuff. I just got a bunch of clothes from my uncle’s estate and instead of just adding them to my closet, I made sure to try and donate or throw away one old piece for every new piece I added. My parents aren’t hoarders either, which when I’m forced to clean out their home…hopefully not for another 20+ years…I won’t be faced with what they’re dealing with.
  6. Sugar-filled Kool-Aid – Going hand-in-hand with my rant about phones, I tried Kool-Aid for the first time in 35 years the other day. They don’t make it with real sugar anymore like when I was kid. It tasted like nothing. That stuff back in the day? That was the shit.
  7. Glasses – I’m not nearly as visually impaired as most people who wear glasses. It’s mostly because I’m in front a computer screen 12-15 hours per day and have been since I was 17, which was a pre-Internet, Smart phone world, so my eyes get tired quickly now. I’m thankful though because I think of those people who helped settle the West, or the Europeans in the 1500s and 1600s who led the world, or all of the people in poor, developing countries these days. How much must it suck to have blurry vision all the time? Really glad I have my glasses. Also glad I could find a picture of the Kool-Aid man in glasses to combine two things on this list for visual representation.
  8. Dog Shit – I’m just kidding. That’s not on my list. My ability to not take things like this too seriously and think outside the box is something I’m grateful for. Yeah, I don’t always know the right time and place and it often leaves people confused, but it always amuses me. There are people who didn’t think writing Dog Shit was funny. That’s OK. We can’t all be as hilarious as me. Be thankful I didn’t try and find a picture of this.

 

Like I mentioned at the top, I’d love to know what some of the random things you’re grateful for in your life are that aren’t obvious. Practicing gratitude has been one of the best ways to keep perspective on things in my post-recovery world, even the mundane things. It is with them that I often realized how truly lucky I am to lead the life I do.

Here’s Your Chance to Redeem Yourself…

Screen Shot 2019-09-11 at 12.54.52 PMYou really wanted to buy my new book and support me when it came out in softcover in December, but either the $19.99 (plus tax and shipping) cost or the fact you’d have a book laying around the house that said “Porn Addict” on the cover was too much for you. That’s OK, I understand. And now, both of those excus….err….reasons have been taken care of as I am proud to announce He’s a Porn Addict…Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions is available in Kindle!

Now, with a low price of $9.99 and no shipping costs, you can show you support, learn a few things, and prove that reading isn’t dead. With Amazon’s gifting and lending program, if you know somebody who should have the book but isn’t going to pick it up for whatever reason,  you can share with them in a much more subtle way than giving them an actual book.

Hope you’ll pick up, or download, your copy today!

Link to the Kindle:  https://amzn.to/2NyIWAT

For those who purchase the Kindle (and those who don’t, but whatever) my first book is available on Kindle for $3.99 for a short time for only HERE

PornHub Lets Us Know Just How Bad Things are Getting, Part I

I mentioned the other day that we were only weeks away from the annual PornHub year in review statistics. I was wrong. We were only hours away from it. I used to run a regular piece on this site called “Alarming Porn Statistic of the Month.” Some of the numbers I shared in early 2018 don’t alarm me nearly as much as the ones I’m about to share.

There’s a lot to get through this year and if this gets too long, I’ll break it into two parts. But also like I mentioned the other day, remember that PornHub is now the No. 3 porn site in the world. As of November 1, 2019, it ranked No. 10 worldwide, with the other two sites taking in spots No. 7 and No. 9, respectively.

I mention this because it means that whatever the PornHub stats are, two sites have higher statistics. For instance, in 2019, there have been 42 billion visits to PornHub, or 115 million per day. That’s scary, but when you figure two sites have more than that, it’s downright terrifying. The top three porn sites likely result in over 400 million visits per day…more than one visit for each person in America (329 million). The top three porn sites likely result in 140 billion visits per year…that’s almost 18 visits per year for every man, woman and child on Earth (7.8 billion).

And these numbers don’t even take into account the millions of other porn sites that aren’t in the Top Three.

How Things Changed Overall

Screen Shot 2019-12-13 at 5.42.58 PMDon’t feel bad for PornHub dropping to No. 3 worldwide in the purveyor or porn department, though. Those 42 billion visits are up from the 28.5 billion they got in 2017. That’s right…two years meant 13.5 billion more visits.

A staggering 6.83 million new videos were uploaded in 2019 representing 1.36 million hours of new content. Put in perspective, that’s 169 years of new content. As PornHub is quick to point out, if you started watching just 2019’s new videos in 1850, you’d still be watching them today.

“Amateur” was the most searched term on PornHub in 2019, and we’ll get more into search terms, but what’s heartbreaking is that 98,000 “amateur” models joined the ranks of PornHub. I believe that means they make and post videos and somehow get paid because of the advertising. Plenty of states like Vermont, Wyoming, Maine, West Virginia, Montana and more don’t have a single city that reaches a 98,000 population – and this is only adding to the women who joined and remain from previous years…on this one website.

What They’re Looking For the Most

In the Top 10 search terms from PornHub, I’m actually struck by the diversity in terms. First, the terms themselves: Amateur, Alien, POV, Bell Delphine, Cosplay, Mature, Bisexual, Apex Legends, ASMR, and Femdom.

These are so, so different than in years past when you saw a lot of the same carryover from year-to-year with terms like “lesbian” and “Kardashian.” For those wondering, I looked it up and Belle Delphine is an online porn star who dresses like she’s a video game or anime character, going hand-in-hand with the No. 5 Cosplay entry.

This list is really a buffet of likes, kinks and fetishes. Being so diverse, the only conclusion I can draw is that the online pornography audience is becoming just as diverse. If you’re still stereotyping the kind of person who goes online to look at pornography, stop. They are as likely to want to see naked grandmothers as they are wanting to see naked aliens.

Once you get past the Top 10, things look much like they did in most previous years. Ethnic terms had a big increase, as “Japanese” jumped from No. 15 to No. 11, “Korean” jumped from No. 20 to No. 15 and “Asian” jumped from No. 18 to No. 16. “Latina” also jumped up five spots and “Indian” jumped eight. I’d be curious if white people are getting more diverse or if an increase in high-speed access around the world has people of color searching out similar looking people. The next section answers a few of those questions.

Where They Call Home

The United States is always going to have the most people using online porn simply because of the population, access to high-speed internet and general societal acceptance of porn. Japan, which rose from No. 4 to No. 2 in terms of traffic on the website, is still less than a third of what is consumed by Americans.

The biggest story, however, is probably the huge drop-off in viewership in India. The country went from third in 2018 to 15th in 2019. This is largely because the government of India has begun banning websites that it believes its population should not be looking at. While this clearly had an effect on PornHub’s traffic, I’d be curious if any people in India are not still very easily able to find porn online. Did their porn use drop or did it just move somewhere else? Before we can answer that question, we can’t say the government’s plan worked. And as somebody who is very much a libertarian, I would never want my government to ever censor what I can look at unless it’s already against the law.

The UK dropped from No. 2 to No. 3. They’ve tried to enact a law that forces porn sites to get confirmed visual ID of someone’s age. You’re never going to get all the small ones across the world to comply, but the big guys, like PornHub, must, so that probably again speaks more to regulation and less to a decrease in porn consumption.

Finally, while US remained at No. 1 (Australia remained at No. 9) and the UK dropped a spot, the other 10 countries who make up the Top 13 porn viewers all moved up from previous years. This may have to do with India’s drop, but let’s be honest, nobody in those countries was looking at less porn in 2019 than they were in 2018 – or were they?

Screen Shot 2019-12-13 at 5.59.11 PMI never saw the graphic I’ve included in this section when PornHub released it earlier in 2019 about cities who use their service the most, but I figured you’d find it interesting, especially if you live on the east coast of Australia.

I’m going to call it a day here and come back with part two of analyzing PornHub’s stats early next week.

Freaked out at all by these statistics? You should be, because unless we do something as a society, it’s only going to grow at an exponential rate.

 

 

 

Random Thoughts, December 2019

My mind is buzzing today. Trying to focus on one topic is impossible. Thankfully, I’ve built this escape hatch that lets me get away with being scattered once a month.

One of the ironies of what I do now with pornography addiction awareness and education is that I have to keep up-to-date with changing technology and how people are utilizing their porn and how porn is essentially sold online – all while not using it myself.

The situation makes sense when you think about it. I couldn’t lecture about the evils of video game addiction, telling young people what playing too much Pac-Man on Atari or Legend of Zelda on Super Nintendo will do to their brains. I have a feeling with our current crop of young pornography addicts, Playboy sounds more like an antique than a source to get your fix.

I was kind of reminded this when I had a conversation with a couple of people in their 20s who know what’s going on and laughed when I asked if people were still hooking up over Skype. Apparently that’s like asking if they still post to Facebook. I was just showing my age.

Thankfully I have a daughter who knows what’s going on. I’m 99.99% sure that she doesn’t engage in any of these activities, but she’s able to keep me abreast of how the young people are making their own porn and how camgirls now mostly use Snapchat and cut out the third-party cam sites so they can keep all the money themselves, minus  the small percentage they kick back to Venmo.

I don’t quite understand Snapchat because I’ve never used it, but the entrepreneurial side of me says good for you getting more of the money. The anti-porn side of me screams that you’re selling your body for what an appetizer at Buffalo Wild Wings costs. This is why parents need to start talking to their kids early about pornography. You don’t want it seeming like a viable option as a part-time job.

 

I haven’t asked anybody on here to buy my book in the last week. One of you has an extra $20 in your pocket and appreciates what I do on here, right? Be a pal and go support me. The first 10 or 11 days went well, but it’s leveling out and I need to keep showing my publisher it’s a viable entity to put their marketing resources behind. If nobody knows about the book, it was a pointless exercise in writing it because it helped nobody. And I know you may only think you’re one person and one book doesn’t make a difference but with this genre (sexual health recovery) it really does make a difference to the bean counters. As I mentioned before, if you don’t need the book, donate it to your local library, women’s charity or church. Doesn’t donating stuff at the holiday season warm your heart? Follow the link… https://amzn.to/2qvxVbm

 

In a couple of weeks, PornHub releases its annual statistics report to show how pornography viewing trends have changed in the last year. I was surprised to find out as of November 1, PornHub has actually fallen to the third most popular pornography website after years of being on top. It’s ranked as the 10th most popular website on Earth. The other sites are No. 7 and No. 9, but since they don’t hand out analytics, I’m not going to mention them. When you realize that these three websites get more individual traffic than Yahoo, Amazon, Netflix and Reddit do, it shows you just how silently the world is using pornography. There are also porn sites at No. 21 and No. 48.

 

Screen Shot 2019-12-12 at 8.06.05 AMThis has nothing to do with pornography addiction or prevention, but it does speak to a tone-deaf response to addiction in general. On my massive road trip through America earlier this year, my favorite state was South Dakota for a bunch of reasons. One is not their ability to clearly get an idea across. The state, which has a massive meth problem, launched an advertising campaign last month designed to get the average citizen to start caring about the problem and start doing something about it. You know how when somebody asks you to do a task and instead of saying “Ok,” you say, “I’m on it.” Yeah, well, for the nice people of South Dakota who are going to tackle the meth problem, they’re on it. That’s like a state deciding they’re going to tackle porn addiction and using the slogan, “Let’s examine pornography” or sex addiction and saying, “Sex Addiction, let’s do it.”

 

It often flies under the radar, but I added an amazing link to pornography addiction resources for both the addict and the partner on the Resources page on this site. I hope if you get a chance, after purchasing my book, you check it out. I feel like I’ll never have to update that page again, it’s so comprehensive. https://amzn.to/2qvxVbm

 

I was watching a documentary last night and I felt tears welling up in my eyes. It dawned on me that it was the first time I was getting emotional about something in a long, long time. I know that I had my recent bout of mild mania that I think has settled, but it made me realize that before I got into recovery, and even through the first couple years of recovery, while I was waiting to find out my legal fate, I got emotional very easily. I think this shows some level of getting better, but crying is a fantastic way to get stuff out of my system. I’ll have to engage it more often. The only sure-fire way I know of making myself cry is listening to this song: Click Here I’m not even going to tell you it’s cultural significance and thankfully, if you’re under 40 you probably have no idea. If you like it, that’s the standard version…here’s one that really gets me: Click Here

 

My website numbers are off the charts lately. I don’t know if posting daily has made that much of a difference or if there are now more bots visiting or if it’s just a series of a lot of little things happening, but 9 of the top 10 days for views and 10 of the top 10 days for visitors have happened in the last 45 days. Thank you all for sticking with me. Now go buy my book…please. https://amzn.to/2qvxVbm