The Grateful Eight, Just a Little Late

As I chill out on writing this blog every day, there are still certain things I want to do and based on feedback, it seemed like people were liking the Grateful Eight feature I introduced a few months back where I mention eight things I’m grateful for on the eighth of the month, except I didn’t do it this month. Despite January 8 still not being a national holiday in celebration of Elvis Presley’s birthday (he would have been 85), or at least Great Musicians’ Day (it was also David Bowie’s birthday), I totally forgot to write an entry.

Anyway, here are the 8 things I’m grateful for this month:

  1. Everybody Who Said They’d Buy My Book on Kindle. Guess what, folks – it’s here! Several of you told me that you’d pick it up if it came to Kindle. Kindle HypeYou either need a new excuse of be true to your word. Here’s the LINK
  2. My Lack of Guilt Over Keeping This Page Updated. I guess I just need some more time to slack than I thought. I have a feeling there will be times of great output and times of almost no output. I’ve actually been trying to write this post for several days but other things have come up and I haven’t killed myself to get to it. This guilt-free feeling wouldn’t have happened in my previous life.
  3. Reddit’s RoastMe page. I know it’s not right to make fun of people, but I’ve always been one of those people who laughed his butt off when people made fun of me. I figure if you’re going to dish it, you should be able to take it. This is a community of people who love to take teasing and it’s a great outlet for creative writing. Yeah, some of the people go for the easy sex or race jokes, but there is some genuinely funny stuff there. If people want to be made fun of, they are my kind of people.
  4. The last Star Wars movie. The first movie I can really recall seeing at the theater, I think, is the Empire Strikes Back. I think that this most recent trilogy was for fans of the first trilogy, who grew up on it. I’ve read a lot of criticism of the film, and it’s certainly not one of those you should pick apart too much (I still wonder how they can have landing bay doors open in the vacuum of space) but if you loved the first trilogy and thought this last one has been OK, it’s worth watching.
  5. When Stuff is So Status Quo, You Don’t Notice. You know how when you’re at your sickest you tell yourself, “I’m never going to take being well for granted. I’m going to recognize it as awesome when it’s happening”? In the past month, 3 of my 3 cars have died, my daughter’s laptop has died, my dishwasher has died and my washing machine has died. There will be a day when everything is working again and I will take it for granted. I hope that day comes soon.
  6. My Son Being Naturally Smart. He just got his report card and in seven classes, not one was below 80. But the kid is lazy and procrastinates so much more than I ever did. I can’t quite break him of it and if he didn’t absorb everything he heard, we’d be in more trouble. I know he’s going to be fine in this world. He’ll probably do quite well, but jeez, he sometimes makes sloths look hyperactive.Screen Shot 2020-01-21 at 12.07.58 PM
  7. The Christmas Present My Daughter Gave Me. I’ve included a picture. It’s a map of the United States that’s covered in that weird stuff that you find on scratch-off lottery tickets. The idea is you scratch off where you’ve been in the country. I could have scratched the full states, but I wanted to scratch where I’d actually been or it would have been hugely uncovered except for three states. Until I visit Yellowstone, I can’t honestly say I’ve done that part of the country. And if you think that dust from the lottery tickets is annoying, imagine it in gold and 500x the amount on your kitchen table.
  8. Alex Trebek. I don’t watch Jeopardy faithfully anymore, but I did watch that Greatest of All-Time tournament a couple weeks ago. With Stage 4 cancer, he’s more likely not going to make it and it was touching to see the amount to tributes people gave him. It was also nice he got to show his stuff in prime time. While I obviously didn’t see the 1960s version, Trebek’s has been on since 1984, when I was 8 years old. There are few things that have remained as consistent as that show and the host through the changes of my life and knowing it’s probably coming to an end soon is minor in the grand scheme of things, but worth a pause.

 

Here’s Your Chance to Redeem Yourself…

Screen Shot 2019-09-11 at 12.54.52 PMYou really wanted to buy my new book and support me when it came out in softcover in December, but either the $19.99 (plus tax and shipping) cost or the fact you’d have a book laying around the house that said “Porn Addict” on the cover was too much for you. That’s OK, I understand. And now, both of those excus….err….reasons have been taken care of as I am proud to announce He’s a Porn Addict…Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions is available in Kindle!

Now, with a low price of $9.99 and no shipping costs, you can show you support, learn a few things, and prove that reading isn’t dead. With Amazon’s gifting and lending program, if you know somebody who should have the book but isn’t going to pick it up for whatever reason,  you can share with them in a much more subtle way than giving them an actual book.

Hope you’ll pick up, or download, your copy today!

Link to the Kindle:  https://amzn.to/2NyIWAT

For those who purchase the Kindle (and those who don’t, but whatever) my first book is available on Kindle for $3.99 for a short time for only HERE

Book Review: He’s a Porn Addict… Now What? — Mental Health @ Home

Ashley at Mental Health @ Home has released a great review of the book. Please check it out when you get a chance.

He’s a Porn Addict… Now What?: An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions by Tony Overbay and Joshua Shea is written to serve as a resource for partners of men with pornography addictions. It’s a unique combination of viewpoints – Tony is a licensed marriage and family therapist, and Josh is a former…

via Book Review: He’s a Porn Addict… Now What? — Mental Health @ Home

The Book Made it to No. 1!!!

I sold a few books over the weekend, although not as many as I had hoped. That’s OK. There’s still plenty to do in promotion and I feel good about getting the word out there. This is going to be a multi-month push to get into the right hands and the longer it lives on Amazon, the more likely it is to be discovered without any work on my part.

I mentioned in a post this weekend that it was important the book rise to the No. 1 spot at least once on the best-selling new sexual health recovery releases chart on Amazon and it happened! Big thanks to Try Not to Cry on My Rainbow for pushing us over the top late Saturday night.

Here are a few screen captures I grabbed of the moment:

Thank you to everyone who reposted my Friday article. And thank you to everyone not buying the banana blow job book.

Give them a listen

I know most people who frequent this site don’t listen to the podcast appearances I post, and that’s OK because most are me just telling a lot of the same stories over and over, and you’ve either already heard them or read versions of them here. I get it.

However, two new ones dropped over the weekend and I’m extremely proud of both of them. Neither are too long, either. I’d love if you would just throw one on in the background while you’re doing other things and let me know what you think.

Screen Shot 2019-12-01 at 12.18.03 PMFirst was Dr. Mark Goulston’s My Wakeup Call. This one so shook me to the core when we recorded it back in October, I wrote an entire entry on it the day after it happened. You can read about it HERE. Although Dr. Goulston may have a name you don’t recognize, he has sold over 500,000 books in his career and is more accomplished than I could ever hope to be. This 45-minute podcast is one of the most interesting discussions I’ve had. Click Here to take a listen.

 

 

FBTB 089 Joshua A. Shea Instagram (New)Then it was From Betrayal to Breakthrough with Dr. Debi Silber. Sometimes, when I know a show is only going to be a half-hour long, I worry that some of my more important messages are not going to get across. Often, the host will get lost in my personal story, missing the larger picture. Not only did that not happen with Dr. Silber, but we had a great discussion of having age-appropriate conversations with children about staying away from pornography. This is the podcast that I’d urge any parents to listen to who are worried about a world where kids get sexualized too young. Click Here to take a listen.

 

Other Random Stuff

I really need a new headshot. I’ve been using that one for two years now. I don’t look different, but I’m just getting sick of seeing this same one on all of the promotional material. I bet my wife never knew that a random picture she took on the steps of our home would be used so much. In the full version, my shirt is also wrinkled all to hell, but if you know me, that’s pretty typical. I put the shevel in disheveled.

Starting tomorrow I’ll go back to writing more traditional entries. I understand that’s what this site is about, although it’s ironic that I had great numbers over the weekend. That softened the block of lower sales. People were clearly venturing over here to take a look and in the grand scheme of things, the education I hope that I offer on this site is just as valuable as what you’ll find in the book.

And of course, I would be remiss if I didn’t jam another opportunity to buy the book down your throat. You had all weekend to think about it. You feel bad you didn’t step up to the plate before now. You know it would be a nice donation to your church or local social agency that helps women or as a resource for your therapist. Click Here to Buy through Amazon.

Random Thoughts, November 2019: The Person I Can’t Forgive, A Book Push Coming, Gratitude Proven Healthy

It’s another one of those days when I’m ready to start writing but my mind is so full of multiple things that I don’t know where to go with it, so a random thoughts entry seems best. Strap in and we’ll see what comes out of my fingertips.

For those of you who check in here almost every day, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your continual support. You have been a piece of my ongoing recovery that has been like a rock I can always count on and I thank you.

That said, I’m going to warn you in the next month or two, there’s going to be a lot of messaging about my new book appearing on the site and it might get old or boring if you’re here every day. I apologize in advance.

First and foremost, this site is a great tool for marketing. Based on the search terms and how many people come here from search engines, I know there are a lot of new visitors here daily. They may only visit once in their lives and I have to let them know the book exists. Also, if anybody hears me on a podcast or radio show (of which a lot are coming – I’m recording 3-4 a week right now) and they visit the site, they need to easily figure out how to get the book.

I would really like this book to make some money and I’m going to try and do my best to make sure it gets into as many hands as possible. I know that I’m doing a good thing by producing the information in the book, but if I want to write more books, the publisher needs to make money and if I want to justify the time it takes to write the books, there has to be a few dollars in it for me. So anyway, thank you very much in advance for understanding I’ll be a little bit more in sales mode when the book goes on Amazon pre-order next week.

And of course, feel free to buy many copies. They make wonderfully awkward stocking stuffers.

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I’ve let go of so much resentment in my life and given internal apologies to so many people who did me wrong in my life as part of my recovery. It’s been a crucial part of getting better. Letting go of bad feelings has freed up plenty of space in my head and my energy can be used for more productive things.

There’s one person who I’m still having the hardest time of forgiving and it’s my fourth grade teacher. I know that sounds strange and I keep running through incidents in my head that more than prove she was a cold, narcissistic phony with little regard to children or their mental health. It doesn’t make sense why of all people, she’s the one I’m holding a grudge against. Why could I forgive the others and not her?

I could share a lot of stories that would make you dislike her, too. She wasn’t a good person. But even if I easily convinced you of that, why does this stick with me?

I remember once she said something to the effect of, “I’ll have you children know that you may think I’m not fair now or I give you too much work, but I can’t tell you how many of my former students come back and say, ‘Thank you Ms. G. You were the best teacher I ever had.’” I think she couldn’t tell us because it hadn’t happened yet.

I recall the moment she said that I thought to myself, “I’m going to come back and tell her how terrible she was and I hope I hurt her feelings.”

My position hasn’t changed in nearly 35 years, and I don’t know why.

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Speaking of productive things, for those of you who read this entry from a few weeks ago, you’ll be pleased to know I cleaned the garage enough to get a car in their during winter storms. Or, rather, I threw about 10 trash bags of junk away, made around 20 trips to the basement moving stuff I wanted to keep, then was exhausted, moved everything into a big pile on the right side, and called it good. I’ll either finish the job in the spring or die before that. I’m not sure which is worse 🙂

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Finally, I finished reading a study about gratitude yesterday and while I’m not going to write a full entry about it, in the last few years, science has made amazing strides toward connecting those who regularly, consciously practice gratitude vs. those who don’t.

From quicker recovery time from major ailments and procedures, to a better overall performance at work, some of the statistics blew me away. Part of me still wonders if there is some other common thread that researchers are missing, but it’s hard to deny that aside from just making you anecdotally feel good, practicing gratitude will make you a healthier, more productive person.

So, I guess this means we should stop throwing up in our mouths a little when every perfect family shares on Facebook how much they are blessed. Apparently, it’s healthy.

Science is cool.