Yes, it will probably take another decade of studies until the DSM (the Bible of Psychiatric Diagnostics), accepts it as a diagnosis, but the World Health Organization (WHO) has just released its latest literature, The ICD-11 (11th version of the International Classification of Diseases) and compulsive sexual behavior is now listed as a diagnosable mental health condition.
This is actually a super huge deal.
Why is this so important? Because health professionals around the world treat this as one of the most important guides to diagnose physical and mental health issues. It’s also used by government agencies around the globe. The WHO is a well-respected organization with no political agenda.
If you’re reading this from the US, you’ll get this analogy: It would be like NBC (WHO) going on the air 10 minutes before everyone and announcing there was an earthquake. Ten minutes later ABC and CBS (DSM) would catch up. It’s akin to breaking news and now it will take a long time to understand what the real fallout is.
Unfortunately, many insurance agencies side with the DSM when it comes to these kind of things. I had to be processed into rehab with an impulse control disorder to have insurance cover my treatment. Even gambling addiction, which is recognized by the DSM, is still scoffed at as a legitimate diagnoses by many insurance companies.
While WHO came just short of calling this compulsive sexual behavior and addiction, it does define it as preoccupation to the point of obsession with and loss of control over sexual fantasy and behavior.
So the next time somebody says to you “Sex addiction isn’t real” or “Porn addiction isn’t real” you can punch them in the stomach and say, “Well Joshua Shea and the World Health Organization says it is!”
We now return you to Wheel of Fortune, already in progress….
QUESTION: What do you think of these PMO/NoFap sites out there for porn addiction? Do they actually work?
ANSWER: I guess it’s one of those “Results May Vary” situations and if they are able to stop the addiction and send you into recovery, then it’s a success. I’ve always said whether it’s rehab, 12-step groups, therapy or cold turkey, as long as you take care of the addiction, it probably isn’t as important the path. That said, I have reservations about these kinds of sites.
For the unaware, PMO stands for “Pornography, Masturbation, Orgasm” and NoFap is a slang term for abstaining from masturbation. This PMO/NoFap movement, from what I’ve researched, came out of the site Reddit, with men challenging each other to abstain from these activities.
Some men came to find that when they abstained, their lives became better, so they became devoted to this concept, singing its praises almost like a religion. They usually don’t mention that this all came to pass because of a popular Seinfeld episode, “The Contest” where the main characters try not to masturbate to win a bet. These might also be the people who celebrate Festivus.
I post on several message boards in the pornography addiction community, more as a porn addiction expert than as a person in recovery because I’m looking down the road at 5 years coming up. I’ll never be recovered, but at some point, you make way for the new guys who need the attention.
I sometimes get a little bit of flack on these boards because I’m a big believer of a medicinal/therapeutic approach to addiction vs. a holistic/DIY-style approach. I’ve never done a study nor read one about it, but I can’t help but believe based on what I’ve witnessed that science has it all over basic willpower and other guys cheering you on. Willpower and cheers are what push fat guys to succeed in softball leagues.
I think these boards can be an important part of recovery, but the number of guys who relapse and who don’t want to face the real core issues of their addiction – and many don’t want to call it an addition, period – is much greater than the people like me who ventured down a more traditional healthcare path.
Also, there are a lot of sites out there that have done little more than commoditize porn addiction recovery. Most of these sites will have very simple programs to follow (for a low fee) and like to sell T-shirts to college kids with slogans like “Porn Kills Love”. It’s catchy, but that shirt won’t resolve your childhood trauma.
Despite many PMO/NoFap devotees not wanting to admit they are addicts because that creates a different set of issues to contend with, I truly believe addiction is just a symptom of a larger issue. You can white-knuckle it for a month and not look at porn or masturbate, but have you really dealt with the core issues?
This has been part of my reservation to endorse 12-step programs on their own. I know they help. Heck, they helped me, but they really don’t deal with the scientific concept of addiction. I’ve met many people in AA who are still hardcore drunks despite the fact they haven’t had a drink in two decades. It’s because they haven’t dealt with the problem that caused their alcoholism.
If PMO or NoFap works for you and that’s all you need, fantastic. If it’s part of a larger program of recovery, great. I have no qualms with anybody mixing and matching recovery techniques in designing their own program. My problem arises when men fixate on this as the ONLY solution and stick with it despite relapsing again and again and again. That’s not recovery. That’s failure.
If you liked this Q&A, check out the others HERE
You can check out my Resources page if you need a place to start getting help. Click HERE
DISCLAIMER: I have no formal training in counseling or medicine. My advice comes from experience as an addict and as someone in recovery for over four years. Please take my words only as suggestions and before doing anything drastic, always consult with a professional. If you’d like me to answer a question publicly, either post it in the comment section or visit the contact page. Questions may be edited for brevity and clarity.
In order to sound like I know what I’m talking about, I have to read a lot, and it’s only in the last 5-6 years that anybody in the science community has been studying pornography addiction, so information is always changing, especially among younger adults who make the Internet a constant part of their lives.
Psychology Today recently reported about a study conducted regarding the use of pornography within a relationship conducted by several Canadian and American college professors.
Just over 1,000 people, mostly between 18 and 35, evenly split among men and women were interviewed. About 70% were either married or living together for more than a year with their partner.
Get these stats:
In the last six months, 98% of men and 73% of women used the Internet for pornography. Taking it down to just the last month, it was 80% of men and 26% of women. The margin of error could have brought the male use number over 100%! Think about that.
If you have 100 men and 100 women aged 18-35, in a relationship in a room together…only 29 haven’t looked at porn online in the last six months.
Still don’t think this might be a big problem on the horizon?