Guest Post: Larry Yff talks drug & porn addiction, labels and Christianity saving him

Note from Josh: I’ve been on Larry Yff’s podcast “White, Confused, Black and Christian” a couple times now and we get along very well. I hope you’ll visit the interviews page and check some of the out. Larry wrote a great first-person article about being a Christian addict that he was nice enough to let me share with all of you here today. It’s long, but it’s worth it.

I type a very specific type of intercourse in my Google search.  The anticipation of what my eyes will see next excites me to the point where nothing else matters.  Not time.  Not space.  Not responsibility.  The endless parade of females with short skirts, small bikinis and tight jeans from every culture and age will flash before my eyes.  It’s easy.  When I get bored of one female, my eyes follow pictures on the side of the screen that show more females with sexxxy outfits who are just waiting for me to click on their video so they can sell me a dream.  The stage is set and the show is about to begin and I’m with one of the twins:  powder cocaine or crack cocaine.  Either fellow attendee will do.  And when we all get together, three is never a crowd.    

Hi.  My name is Larry and I am a man.  To be more specific, I am a man who is battling with addictions. If you want me to go a little further, I could say I am a man who loves God that is battling with addictions.  What I no longer am is an addict.  I am a typical person who wants respect and love.  

There are a couple of things I said that need to be looked into further if you want to know what I believe true love and respect are.  The points you need to catch are these:

1.     I am a man, not an addict and;

2.     I love God

The first point is very important.  Allowing any label to stick on you other than the label of “human being” will not let you find love, be loved or give love.  By saying “I am an addict” means that your existence is now not human.  You are now an addict.

When you say you are an addict you are training your brain to accept the fact that you are sub-human. You are programming your brain to believe this thing has you beat and now it owns you.  You are now an addict and an addict is a person who is a slave to something that he or she is having a problem with.

The thing about having a slave mentality is a tricky one.  If you can convince a person, by force or by reason, that he or she is under the rule of a master, you will not need to beat that concept into anyone or provide facts for your rationale ever again.  A person becomes whatever the mind says he is.

Now you have a basic understanding of why I call myself a man and not an addict; so we begin to tie my love of God into this whole scenario.  In order to accomplish this goal, we have to get back to the cocaine and flicks (flicks is a softer, less aggressive, deflective term instead of saying pornographic movies).  

Cocaine to me meant sexual activity.  There is a natural chemical in your brain called dopamine that is released in the body when you eat certain foods or are involved in certain activities.  Sexual activity is one of them.  Sex in all its forms gives you a rush that is unmatched in the realm of man-made substances.  

Sex, and it doesn’t even have to be “good sex”, will make an atheist say “Oh God!”  The mere thought of a sexual experience is enough to make a man pay a female hundreds of dollars in a strip club.  Pornography, escort services, prostitution, strip clubs and the sex slave traffic generate more money each year than the NFL, MLB and the NBA combined grossing more than $80 billion a year.

If you break this number down, you will find me on the list of contributors to that $80 billion in sales.  At this point I would like to point out that there is no need to get into full disclosure of these activities on my part because that would just sidetrack us from the point I was getting at… LOL …now where was I???  Sex.  I love sex.  My problem with sex that fueled my addiction to cocaine was directly tied into the sexual choices I was making in my life.  

I had my oldest son when I was 19 years old.  As of the time of this writing I have 6 kids by 6 different women.  After my first child and relationship didn’t work, I didn’t feel like a man or a dad.  I was a horrible example of both. Even though I was the one who didn’t make the wisest choices, I began to have a pity party and felt like nobody would want to be in a relationship with me.  That’s when I began to settle for a fantasy sex life.  Cocaine numbed the inner pain and gave me that substitute rush of natural dopamine and the side effects of depression, chemical imbalance, shame and guilt.

As a man I still wanted to have a family and I continued to get into relationships and try and start one and would self-sabotage them with my feelings of inadequacy.  Even though I loved the family concept, I allowed negative thoughts to convince me I didn’t deserve a family and in turn it made me revert back to nights of cocaine use to get that “good feeling from porn/sex”.  

The crazy thing about what I was doing is the deeper I got into my addictions the less I was positioning myself as a good man and dad and the broken families and relationships naturally followed.  My views on sex were being played out like the pornos and strippers I watched:  My eyes were searching everywhere, all the time, for another female.  After the buffet of skirts and short-shorts I was used to looking at in strip clubs and pornos, having eyes for one female didn’t appeal to me.  I had trained my brain to constantly search for the next big butt and a smile and my fantasy sex life slowly began to take over and became my sexual reality.    

I began to focus on labels.  And I’m not talking about Polo or Phat Farm.  The labels I wore were “drug addict”, “porn/sex addict”, “violent”, “felon”, “dead-beat dad” and on and on.  I had tried them all on before and even though the fit was custom-tailored, I tried my best to act like they were too tight or too loose…anything but a good fit.  I finally gave in to the advice of some family and friends and began going to meetings.  

The meetings I started going to were the AA (Alcoholic Anonymous) meetings because these were most common and plus you can legally buy alcohol and you could get drunk at bars, clubs and parties and confess that you have a problem and it will be taken fairly lightly.   

When people heard I had to go to NA meetings (Narcotics Anonymous) they looked at me in a different light and wondered what drugs I was on and if I was going to rob them so I could get high.  At these meetings, both AA and NA, you sit in a circle and introduce yourself.  The standard introduction is “Hi. I’m Larry and I’m a drug addict (or an alcoholic)” and everyone says “Hi Larry.”  To me, they were confirming and accepting me as a drug addict.  I hated it and it made me feel depressed but I wasn’t sure why.  

I was a drug addict and a sex/porn addict by definition and action and when I would tell people I was not an addict, they would get mad at me or call me stupid and say I was in denial.  What I was trying to convey was every time I wore the “addict label” it drained the humanity out of me.  The inhumane feeling of any type of addiction is hard; but for me there was nothing that compared to having to admit to being addicted to porn/sex.

Being addicted to alcohol and opening up means you tell everyone you drank to the point where you lost your job; which was understandable because alcohol is a legally sold substance and thus addiction legally and allowably comes with alcoholism.  Being addicted to drugs and opening up is a little more risky because drugs in general and drug use are both illegal and you are charged criminally for both; basically you are admitting that you participate in and are addicted to illegal and criminal activity.  Nothing compared to admitting a porn/sex addiction.  That’s a no-no and the big kahuna of addictions.  

Being addicted to porn/sex and opening up means you have to admit that certain sex acts society thinks should be illegal, sex acts that are literally illegal and sex activity that should never be an issue in the mind of a good man, husband or father excite you on some deep, dark level.  

Keeping to the Christian code though, if I am not going to let any type of addiction hold me back from enjoying life the way Jesus came to show us is possible…I had to confess it, get over it and get on with it (life).  Try and tell people you love Jesus, you are excited and believe in the business plans and visions God has given you…and you get turned on by pretty risqué porn/sex activity (unthinkable by Christian standards for sure), you don’t mind resorting to violence if and when you have to or admitting you are addicted to illegal drugs.  Now try opening up and confessing to all three like I had to do.  

Let me tell you the relief I felt once I did!!!  Man!!!  Once I did, my love and understanding of God’s love and His guidance through Bible verses telling believers to “openly confess your sins to one another and help each other” and “be quick to confess your sins to God and repent and He will remove all traces of it” began to give me strength.  Coincidentally, this was also when the God thing for me kicked into high gear.  

I was in jail one time and as usual I asked for a Bible.  This time proved to be different.  As I was reading I began to feel happy.  Natural dopamine was being released into my body from a weird type of wave that would rush through me every time I discovered the lesson in a parable.

Then I began to come across stories that showed how people were faithful to God and obeyed His natural laws and I wanted that.  The stories were of people who had anger issues, sex issues, were very insecure and were family rejects that God selected to become world leaders.  “If they can do it why can’t I?” I began asking myself.

When I got out of jail I got back into my normal swing of things and would make money and spend it on getting high; shirking my family financial obligations.  But something was different.  The high wasn’t making me feel high anymore.  It was more of a nuisance and was irritating me.  The drug high began to feel like I was bumping my head over and over again and I began to ask the hard, but simple question of “How many times are you going to bump your head, Larry?  Are you gonna keep bumping it till it bust open and you get to see what’s at the center of the Tootsie Pop?”

I began to chase the high I had when I was reading the Bible.  I began to feel like there was more out there and I began to have thoughts about businesses.  I mean real estate development businesses that took over entire cities, a fashion house, hotel development and the list kept growing.

How am I going to get there was the next question.  I started admiring and reading about the Forbes magazine’s richest men on the planet and I watched documentaries about business tycoons.  Something about that felt shallow.  They all contributed their success to hard work, mentors or the values that their parents instilled in them.  Those stories angered me more than anything else because those success stories were built on concepts that I knew weren’t true for many Americans.

The United States was built on a political, social, economic and financial system that was designed to be prejudicial, unequal and unchanging.  The system here in America was stacked against certain groups of people.  This was the reality of life here in this country and maybe the whole world…or so I thought.  

What about all the kids who don’t know their parents?  Since they had no parents to instill values at a young age, does that mean they will miss out on financial success and happiness?  What about the people who grew up without access to business mentors and didn’t have neighbors who were financially stable?  Are they all doomed to a life of being less than because they miss several elements that are said to determine success?

The Bible stories of real life people began to appear on the screen in my brain.  They were ordinary people that decided to follow the natural laws of God and were able to feel a level of love that can’t be described.  They found success and purpose in life.  Some of them wrote songs about the rush of being loved by God.  There were stories of Kings, Queens and Killers who all found success in life by sticking to the laws of God as best as they could.

I now had to understand who this God was before I could commit myself fully because the Bible stated several times that you have to choose to follow only God.  If you choose to follow money or fame or a cute face or anything else, you won’t be able to enjoy life on a level that it was designed to be enjoyed.  Your view on God and life matters.

Going to the beginning was the only sensible option.  The book of Genesis is where I began to read.  The story of how God made the Earth seemed to make sense; but I had to break it down.  Did humans make the Earth?  Nope.  Did humans make the universe and all the galaxies?  Nope.  Does everything on this Earth have natural laws that are built specifically for life on Earth?  Yup.  

If the pull of gravity was a little stronger we wouldn’t be able to walk.  If the Earth was a little farther from the Sun it would freeze and life on Earth couldn’t exist.  If the ozone layer was not in place the air would be too toxic for us to breath.  If trees weren’t here to perform photosynthesis we would not be able to breath.  Plant life has natural remedies for our bodies.  If dirt and its’ minerals didn’t exist plant life would not exist and neither would life on this planet.  The human body needs water or it will die and if the Earth had no water…well, you know what I’m getting at.  The bottom line was there is proof in nature that a being or beings other than humans made this planet and the universe and it wasn’t by chance.

Now, with full acceptance of the story of man and creation as being true according to the Bible, I was confident in placing my belief in God.  This in turn led me to a deeper understanding of the three separate and unequal beings commonly referred to as the entity God:  Father, Son and Holy Spirit.  This in turn led me to understand that God had a wisdom and power that could not be explained.  Period. 

As I continued to read and study the Jesus story, I began to pay close attention.  Jesus is part of this entity called God and constantly talked about His love for His Father and all of His actions showed His loyalty to His Father.  I didn’t and don’t understand how He came from Heaven or where Heaven is or about angels and the devil…but I didn’t have to.  I saw proof of God and His intelligence and love that was unmatched anywhere on this planet yet seen everywhere in nature and I felt a yearning to be loved by Him and to somehow get as personal as I could with God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit.  

Jesus talked about a Kingdom.  He called it the Kingdom of God or the Kingdom of Heaven.   Most of His messages were about this mysterious Kingdom.  He said if we became citizens of this Kingdom, we would be under the rule of the powerful, wise entity called God.  He said He was going to heaven to see His Father and “anything we asked of Him, based on our belief and love in Him (Jesus), He would ask His Father for and it would be done.”  

I now wanted to find out what kind of ruler was God and what were His rules.  After observing the Laws of this Kingdom, I discovered they came to us naturally and understood how every human being has a value and a purpose.  The desire to love and be loved and to respect and be respected within some form of natural law and order is inside of us.  Here are some examples:

1.     Don’t do anything out of anger.  How many of us did or said things when we were mad and had negative results?  This makes perfect sense.

2.     Respect your parents.  Respect is something that is earned.  This means that parents need to put themselves in the position to receive respect by the child.  A parent doesn’t just get respect because he or she is a parent.  This makes perfect sense.

3.     Two men should not have sex with each other.  God created humans in a specific way for a specific purpose:  Life is created naturally by design when a man puts his seed into a woman and fertilizes her egg.  It’s simple and it makes sense.

4.     You reap what you sow.  Whatever you plant you get.  If you plant apple seeds you get an apple tree.  If you say negative things to your child your child will have a negative self-image.  If you acknowledge God He will acknowledge you.  If you are good with a little bit of money you will be good with lots of money.

5.     Your body is a temple where God lives.  Don’t mess up God’s house.  Don’t mess up your body.  It’s God’s house.  You respect everybody else’s house so you should respect God’s house the same way.

Being a part of this Kingdom sounded like a good thing and I was all in…

Follow the real life side of this story from the beginning:
“White, Confused, Black and Christian – the Autobiography of Larry A. Yff” (Explicit or Base Version)
Learn how to rule your world and enjoy life:  
“Kings, Queens and Killers:  Rules of Engagement”
Understand your purpose in life, gain spiritual wisdom and discover your value:
“Your View Matters:  Personal Development Plan” (Explicit or Base Version)

These books are part of the “Your View Matters” series written by Larry A. Yff and are available on Amazon HERE.

Check out Larry’s Podcast HERE

From the Department of Things I Never Thought I’d Say: Watch Me Coach the Naked Podcaster

I like doing podcasts. It scratches a few internal itches that I have. They provide me with someone’s attention for an hour, help continually remind me of my battle with pornography and alcohol addiction, allow me to spread an important educational message and are the easiest way to market my books.

One of the things I don’t do enough of is talk about my advising/counseling service. I love doing it and while I usually only have 1-3 clients at any given time, it does help justify the time I spend since I get a few dollars. But, for whatever reason, I don’t promote it as much as I want and I’ve been wanting to revamp that section of my website for over a year. I wish I had 5-6 clients at a time because I genuinely enjoy hearing people’s stories and helping them.

I made a conscious effort to pull back on the number of podcasts I was doing a couple months back, which has led me to turn down a few offers and not spend very much time looking for shows that would fit my message. I used to say yes to almost everybody, but I’ll actually check out somebody’s credentials first and see what their podcast is like before agreeing to it.

There have been a few times where it’s clear I’ve been invited to a show to be attacked. They are usually shows that market themselves as “pro-healthy sexuality” but in reality they are just about justifying hyper-sexual behavior. I’m not necessarily against that if you’ve got the right partner in the right situation, but I’m always cast as the frigid anti-porn guy who just doesn’t get it. I’ve learned to spot them a mile away and pass.

Back in late December or early January, I was asked to appear on a show called “The Naked Podcaster.” I almost tossed the email before reading it, but the first line that read: “I’m not even sure that I should be writing you about this…” It was clear that Jenn Taylor had a different kind of show and that while she was naked on her end of the screen, she never showed anything and it was as much a metaphor, and marketing gimmick to gain eyeballs as anything else. I still was a bit hesitant, but realized that this was a controlled environment that would not cross any lines and would ultimately show people that pornography addiction is not about a naked person. It’s about what the mind is seeking but looking for pornography. I also knew that seeing someone from the shoulders up has never been triggering for me. I’m just not a collarbone guy.

So I recorded the show in early January, it appeared a week later and I posted it as I post every other podcast. It was a good appearance and we had a nice rapport. Sometimes people who decide to have podcasts are not good conversationalists. Lord knows why they want to be part of a project that forces them to talk. These are the shows that are tough to get through. It wasn’t like that with Jenn and I thanked her for giving me access to her audience. If you’d like to see that appearance, it’s available HERE.

About a week after it ran, I got another email from Jenn saying that she was looking to do online coaching with former guests. She was upfront with her reasoning… it provided interesting content and she gets free coaching. It reminded me of how many times I’ve written the “man goes to a spa” story in my life for various publications just so I can get a free facial, massage and pedicure. I always had to play dumb and ask, “I’ve heard there’s some kind of wax treatment for your feet?” That’s when you soak your feet in a paraffin wax bath. It feels like you’re wearing slippers for a couple days after that. Anyway, I digress.

I also knew that doing this with Jenn, while different than what I do when I’m coaching or advising someone (or their partner) about porn addiction, would give the overall feel for what I do with people. I think what keeps a lot of people away is the fear of the unknown and this shows that I’m a guy just asking questions, prompting the person to speak, and I come with no judgment and throw out some possibilities to get the person on the other end to think about once we’re done. It’s easy to do, but not easy to start.

So, here are the two coaching sessions we did, via YouTube. It’ll take two hours of your time to get through them, but I think it’s interesting and I’m curious if others will reach the conclusion I did at the end.

Here is what Jenn wrote for the introduction on the YouTube video:

It might seem strange that a porn addict is coaching The Naked Podcaster, however, when I read Josh’s book, “He’s A Porn Addict… Now What?” I realized that I have triggers from my past. 3 of my 4 serious relationships had porn as part of the mix and I became curious about how that impacted me, how I was attracting people and if I could have handled it differently. I also felt a little confused about my reaction to pornography. In Session 1 we dive into my background and set the stage for session 2. I was nervous about this discussion but excited about the possibility of learning more about myself. Welcome to my porn journey and brace yourself for session 2.

In Session 2 you will learn more about me from a sexual standpoint than you ever wanted to know.

If you don’t have the time to watch, or just want the spoilers, here is what Jenn wrote following our session:

In the end, with some great coaching from Josh, he determines that I am an open, healthy sexual person, evolved, transcendent and willing to openly discuss sexuality and I’m not in your face about it. In my mind, I feel I should have a more open, healthier attitude by LIKING porn but I DON’T LIKE IT. I don’t want to admit that because in my mind it pokes holes in the balloon of being openly sexual. My definition of being openly sexual is defined on INCLUDING porn, so because I don’t really like it, I struggle with if I can be healthy sexually when I don’t really have that openness. In the moment I wasn’t sure if that was accurate or how accurate it is, but with hindsight, I believe it’s spot on. I DO like lower-key sexual encounters in an R rated movie, but once it’s blatant, I’m actually uncomfortable. What this has meant since we recorded, is embracing that having a healthy sexual relationship does not have to be all-inclusive and that’s OK. I also don’t want to have a 3-some, am not interested in women and have never wanted to attend a sex party and those things didn’t determine feeling that I’m sexually open. We all have to determine what’s in our comfort zone. I appreciate that Josh was willing to have me as a coaching client since I”m a bit removed from my engagement with porn and to explore difficult conversations with me to uncover what my triggers are.

While I’m going to be revamping things on my advising/coaching page, if anybody is interested in my services, please get in touch with me at jshea.writer@gmail.com

Guest Blog: Four Reasons Why Women Are Not Sex Objects

By Eddie Capparucci, LPC, CSAS, CPCS

According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, the definition of objectifying is as follows:  “to treat someone as an object rather than as a person.”

Now think for a moment if people started looking, referring and treating you like an object. How do you believe you would feel? Insulted? Demeaned? Dishonored? Befouled? Humiliated? Tarnish? Women-Objectification

How about outright pissed? You know you would be. So why then is it cool for us men to look upon women as playthings created merely for our own gratification? This type of behavior rings with an air of superiority, which we have no right to claim.

“There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” Galatians 3:28 ESV

There is no mistaking men and women are different. However, they also are seen as equal in God’s eyes. And if the Creator sees them that way how can we not? There are many reasons why women should not be treated as sex objects. Let’s take a look at 4.

  1. She is a Princess of the King

We’re asking for trouble because we are messing with God’s daughters. Wow, how stupid are we? We are taking the King’s princesses and reducing them to nothing more than toys. How in the world could we never believe that is ok?

We are commanded to be respectful and loving of others – both men and women. However, there is nothing loving about objectifying more than half of the world’s population. We must elect to treat women in a Christ-like manner and provide them with the respect and dignity they deserve as children of God.

  1. She’s Entitled to be Feminine

One way men justify their objectification of women is based on how some dress. But there is nothing wrong with women expressing their femininity and wanting to feel pretty. They are entitled to experience those feelings without having to worry about men objectifying them. Instead, we should learn to admire and directly observe a woman’s beauty instead of lusting after it. They should not need to wrap their bodies in burlap because we lack control over our lust.

  1. She has a Brain

Women are not inanimate. They breathe, walk, talk and think. They have a brain. So, what gives men the impression women are playthings to use and discard? Over time women have demonstrated their equality on many levels. They serve in leadership roles in churches, universities, corporations, and heads of state in many countries. Yet, we prefer to view them as body parts instead of appreciating the whole person.

“Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.” Romans 12:10

  1. She Deserves Better

Life is difficult. As men we face enormous pressures every day whether it’s stress with our jobs; dissension in our families; conflicts within our church; the lack of me-time; or a battling lust. Well, women face similar concerns and worries. They often juggle multiple tasks as a housewife, mother, employee, friend, and daughter. And with each of these hats come challenges and obligations.

But nowhere on that list of duties is the role of sex object. They deserve better than that of men. If she can stand toe-to-toe with men and manage the day-to-day responsibilities and challenges that the world throws at her, shouldn’t she be treated with the utmost respect? The short answer is yes – because she deserves better. It is our obligation as men to view her through different lenses that don’t focus on her sexuality but instead on her personhood. To treat her as Christ treated all women.

Eddie Capparucci is an LPC, CSAS, CPCS, a licensed professional counselor, and certified in sexual and pornography addiction. He is the author of the soon-to-be-released book “Going Deeper: How the Inner Child Impacts Your Sexual Addiction.” Pre-orders are now available at  https://www.blackrosewriting.com/nonfiction/goingdeeper  Use the promo code PREORDER2019 to save 15%. He can be reached at edcappa@gmail.com.

The One Thought That Won’t Leave You Today

Ok I warned you, it’s not just a clickbait headline.

Set a 10-minute timer on your phone, then come back to this…

In the time you were away, there’s a 12-year-old kid with internet access somewhere who has just seen more hardcore sex acts than his ancestors did in their entire lifetime.

Have a good day.

Pornography Has Been Around A Long Time, Regardless of What Grandma Says

I’ll admit it. I’m surly today. I just found out I’m going to have to drop $3K on my daughter’s dental work and it’s the first Halloween that neither of my kids are doing anything and I really just want to turn off my lights and draw the shades. But, while I was in the waiting room at the dentist I just read an article from some senior citizen’s magazine where several people over 65 were complaining about how the world has changed, specifically sexual standards including pornography. Their attitudes and white-washing of the history was frustrating to read.

I’m not here to defend pornography at all, but I think it’s buffoonish to pretend like it didn’t exist in the first 80 years of the 20th Century. I don’t mean to attack senior citizens at all, and if any read this blog, I’m not talking about you. It’s your Golden Girls-watching brethren who need to recognize they hold some responsibility for where we find ourselves today. It wasn’t my generation or the next one making sex-soaked films in the 60s and 70s that became the norm in Hollywood.

If you want me to point out 1,000 things that are better now than they were in the past, I easily can. From safety standards to communications to health care to transportation, it’s impossible to make a solid argument that things were better back then…whenever you decide “then” was.

Yeah, maybe you didn’t have to have school shooter drills, but you did have air raid drills. If you’re going to believe you had a more moral, less sexualized society, I’d point out to you the teenage (15-19) pregnancy rate in 1957 was 9.6% while in 1979, that figure was 11.1%. In 2015, it dropped to 4.3% — less than half of what it was during your romanticized vision of society.

There’s too much sex on TV compared to your day? We have 800 channels now. There’s too much everything on TV compared to when there were three channels. Times Square in NYC became a cesspool for strip clubs and adult theaters in the 1960s. Sixty years later, you won’t find any adult entertainment there. Exponentially more cities and towns have strict rules about or against adult entertainment businesses than ever before.

The reality is, those who condemn the youth of today as immoral were once labeled that as well and it’s been happening for ages:

“The free access which many young people have to romances, novels and plays has poisoned the mind and corrupted the morals of many a promising youth…” – Rev. Enos Hitchcock, 1790

“Never has youth been exposed to such dangers of both perversion and arrest as in our own land and day.” – Granville Stanley Hall, 1904

“Many young people were so pampered nowadays that they have forgotten there was such a thing as walking, and they make automatically for the buses… unless they do something, the future for walking is very poor indeed.” – The Falkirk Herald, Scotland, 1951

If you want to believe there really wasn’t porn in the 1950s, one only has to point out that Playboy made its debut in December 1953. That means somebody who is 70 today was 4 years old when it debuted. You can look back into the 1920s and see widely distributed magazines with naked people that were produced specifically for titillation. Let’s not forget all of the art created between 1500 and 1900 that had adult themes. I’m not talking about naked angels. There was plenty of hardcore nudity in paintings during those 400 years. Want to go further back? There are erotic paintings and carvings that have been found in caves dating back to the paleolithic era more than 50,000 years ago and plenty also found in Mesopotamia 5,000 years ago. Let’s not even talk about what the Greeks and Romans were into.

The world has always been a sexual place; it’s how we get the new humans here. I understand that we have technology that makes ease of access to sexually explicit materials easier than in the past, but Playboy isn’t still around because the Internet appeared 20 years ago. Playboy is struggling because the Internet appeared. Somebody caused its circulation to rise to 7 million per month in the 1970s, when these moral people interviewed for the article were in their 20s and 30s. But I’m sure they never looked at one.

I take exception to the romanticism, nostalgia and rose-colored glasses that the past is looked upon and the scorn with which the present and future are seen. I hear the word “millennial” tossed around like it’s a horrible thing, but I’ve never seen a more ethically conscious, morally aware generation. I think the future is in good hands with your grandchildren. Perhaps your distaste comes from the job you did raising my generation. Maybe my generation took notes and tried to do better.

I could give more than enough examples to fill volumes of books, but I know that the current group of older, conservative people who rue the day and wish things were like they were in the good old days are simply not going to understand what the rest of us already know: There never were good old days and if there are, these are the good old days for today’s youth. Your generation brought the same things every generation brings to the table, advancement of science and culture that scared the people who came before you.