Here’s Your Chance to Redeem Yourself…

Screen Shot 2019-09-11 at 12.54.52 PMYou really wanted to buy my new book and support me when it came out in softcover in December, but either the $19.99 (plus tax and shipping) cost or the fact you’d have a book laying around the house that said “Porn Addict” on the cover was too much for you. That’s OK, I understand. And now, both of those excus….err….reasons have been taken care of as I am proud to announce He’s a Porn Addict…Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions is available in Kindle!

Now, with a low price of $9.99 and no shipping costs, you can show you support, learn a few things, and prove that reading isn’t dead. With Amazon’s gifting and lending program, if you know somebody who should have the book but isn’t going to pick it up for whatever reason,  you can share with them in a much more subtle way than giving them an actual book.

Hope you’ll pick up, or download, your copy today!

Link to the Kindle:  https://amzn.to/2NyIWAT

For those who purchase the Kindle (and those who don’t, but whatever) my first book is available on Kindle for $3.99 for a short time for only HERE

Guest Post: Meet Tony Overbay, My Co-Author of ‘He’s a Porn Addict, Now What?’

Note from Josh: I’ve talked a lot about the new book I’ve co-written, but not too much about my fellow author, Tony Overbay, LMFT. He’s a great guy who is hilarious, and as we’ve built our friendship, has made himself very vulnerable over the foreign process of writing a book. While this is only the second book I’ve written that has my real name on it, I’ve either written nearly 20 books under pseudonyms or ghostwritten them for other people, so I forget what a scary experience it can be for a rookie. Tony’s got a great personal story and earlier this week wrote this entry on his Facebook page. I think if you read it, you’ll see why I wanted to work with him. Also, we recorded a new episode of his podcast on Thursday that will debut on Monday and I will post it to this site.

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Over 15 years ago I started thinking about changing careers. I was writing a humor column for my local newspaper and many of my articles had to do with becoming a new father. I loved being a father and that was when I first felt the “call” to want to help other men become good fathers as well. I wrote more about being a new father and eventually I put together enough chapters that I thought I could turn it into a book. That was one of the first times I also felt the pangs of “Impostor Syndrome,” meaning I couldn’t get past “why would anyone want to listen to me, who am I to write a book? I don’t have any credentials.”

I eventually headed back to school in the evenings, with four small kids, a day job and an incredibly supportive wife. I wanted to study counseling, but initially, I thought having a master’s degree in counseling would be enough, and I would write, and help men become better husbands and fathers. I didn’t anticipate seeing clients.

During the course of getting my masters in counseling, I had to do a practicum, aka fieldwork. I had to start seeing clients at a non-profit clinic. That was when I first realized that this career was more than just wanting letters behind my name in hopes of selling a funny book or two, it was truly about following a call, it was about helping others. I had found my passion, my purpose, and my desire to help grew.

When I first started seeing clients out of school, I learned that men weren’t typically seeking therapy, so I found myself working with a population that was coming in to see me because they were in danger of losing their marriages, or careers, to addiction, in particular men who were struggling with compulsive sexual behavior, typically acted out through repeated, and continual viewing of pornography, even when they had tried to stop many, many times.

I learned so much about addiction, compulsive behaviors, and I knew many of the ways to truly help with both the behavioral and the mental (cognitive) aspects of turning to pornography as a coping mechanism or acting out sexually to fill a void. That work led me to the creation of The Path Back, an online pornography recovery program that has helped many, many people break free from the chains of compulsive sexual behavior.

I started The Virtual Couch podcast a couple of years ago as a way to share a lot of what I was learning as a therapist, but also as a way to promote The Path Back recovery program, and the podcast began to grow like nothing I ever anticipated. That growth led me to the opportunity to interview more and more interesting people who had overcome a lot in their lives. One of those interviews was with a former politician, magazine editor and film festival organizer, and pornography addict, Joshua Shea. You can hear Josh’s story in his episode on The Virtual Couch, but after doing 70 or more podcasts and radio interviews for his first book The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About, Josh approached me with the concept of another book, “He’s a Porn Addict…Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions” (Click Here to See the Amazon page for the book) and I was immediately honored, and I was in! We would answer questions from real people about pornography addiction, and we would both answer them without knowing what the other had written. What we now have is a book that is receiving incredibly positive reviews from the professional community, a community that can be quite harsh with concepts or ideas that don’t bear fruit. It is overwhelming, humbling and motivating all at once.

I now have the letters after my name, and over a decade now of one-on-one experience with over 1,000 men and women who have struggled to overcome turning to pornography or other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism. I know it can be done, but I also know it takes time to believe that it can be done. I am confident that this book will help expedite this process significantly, whether you are the addict, the betrayed or someone who loves, counsels or works with someone struggling with this challenge.

So while this isn’t the humorous first-time dad book that talks about blowing out diapers in public or having to give up Oreo shakes for a year thanks to my wife getting sick on them during pregnancy, I am extremely proud of this book and I hope that it can positively change lives. Sometimes I still can’t believe that I changed careers when I did, I still don’t see myself as “that guy,” but I now can’t imagine what my life would be like had I not followed a bit of a calling, and truly decided that I needed to love what I did, and do something that hopefully can and will impact lives for the better.

Book Review: He’s a Porn Addict… Now What? — Mental Health @ Home

Ashley at Mental Health @ Home has released a great review of the book. Please check it out when you get a chance.

He’s a Porn Addict… Now What?: An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions by Tony Overbay and Joshua Shea is written to serve as a resource for partners of men with pornography addictions. It’s a unique combination of viewpoints – Tony is a licensed marriage and family therapist, and Josh is a former…

via Book Review: He’s a Porn Addict… Now What? — Mental Health @ Home

My Book Officially Goes on Sale Today

Well, today is the day the book is officially released. By the time you read this, it will be live on Amazon, Barnes and Noble and a few other online booksellers.

I guess we’ll see what happens.

Screen Shot 2019-09-11 at 12.54.52 PMToday, I have an Ask Me Anything event happening on Reddit, starting at Noon EST. I’ll be hanging out there a couple hours talking about the book and pornography addiction. If any of you would like to stop by, just visit https://www.reddit.com/r/AMA/ and if you don’t see it on the page after a bit of scrolling, just search my name Joshua Shea from the top search bar.

I’d love it if you’d stop by and say hello. Hopefully the trolls stay off their keyboards, but this is the Internet, so I’m sure I’m putting a target on my back.

There’s supposed to be a big snowstorm up this way tomorrow, so I’ll have time to begin working a few other angles in pushing the book. As I mentioned in one of the comments yesterday, it took several months before I had my biggest sales stretch on my first book, so I’ll try to remind myself that.

I do want to thank the regulars for constantly supporting me. It does mean a lot.

Perhaps I’ll write a little more later in the day…

And as always, if you want to buy the book, click HERE

If You’ve Ever Wanted to Help My Cause, This is It

The last six years or so have been a ride. I thought alcohol rehab in 2014 would be the end of it. I thought the same for sex/porn addiction rehab in 2015 or jail in 2016. Then there was my first book and launching this website. Initially designed as just a promotional tool, I had no idea the outpouring of not only support, but inquiries looking for help I’d receive through the site. Most surprisingly, half of them came from the partners of pornography addicts who were lost and looking for any life raft in their sea of doubt, sadness and betrayal.

I realized that my mission could not end. Much like the disappointment I felt when I couldn’t find any relatable, non-highly academic books on pornography addiction at the start of my journey, I felt the strong calling to create something for these partners. It’s hard to describe this calling other than to say I feel like it’s what I’ve been put here for.

I came up with a concept for a new book and thought of only one person to co-author the book with me. I met Tony Overbay, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist on his popular The Virtual Couch podcast and we instantly clicked. Thankfully, he liked the idea for the project, and we spent the next 18 months working together on it.

The result is He’s a Porn Addict…What Now? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions. 

Online Flyer for BookWhy two authors? I explained it to someone the other day using an analogy to tattoos. Let’s say there’s an artist who apprenticed under the best in the industry, inked tattoos on thousands of people and regularly won awards for it. But, he or she doesn’t have a single tattoo on their body.

Then let’s say there’s another person, who is heavily tattooed and has probably spent more than 200 hours under the gun. They’ve experienced the pain, the thrill and the stigma that comes with having so many tattoos.

So, which one of them is the tattoo expert? My belief is that they both are, coming at it from different angles and together giving a better overall picture than either could individually. This book has a licensed therapist and a recovering addict. This has never been done for a book in this genre before. I think it gives a more complete picture to an addict’s partner than anything that has been produced in the past.

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Today is Black Friday and it will be Cyber Monday in a couple of days. Sandwiched between the two is Book Launch Sunday, when He’s a Porn Addict…Now What? will be officially released and begin shipping.

I’m not pretending it’s a good Christmas present. It could certainly create a lot of awkward laughs, but releasing it now is just the ways things unfolded. I’m not sure if the timing is bad or doesn’t make any difference. I just can’t think it’s good.

I’m also not going to pretend I understand all of the ins and outs of how Amazon ranks books or promotes them. I know it’s important to come out of the gate strong and to receive decent reviews. My greatest fear right now is that the book gets lost in everything else people have on their minds this time of year. The reality of the world right now is 64% of books are sold on Amazon while only 7% are sold in stores. This book is so important to me and important to my future and I fear being a victim of circumstance and bad timing.

I want the partners of pornography addicts to easily be able to find this book on Amazon in the next few months. I want therapists and doctors to learn about it, sample it and decide if it could be a valuable resource for many of their clients. I believe clergy members could learn a lot that would come in helpful in counseling their parishes. I even think addicts themselves could glean quite a bit from it. But they all have to be able to find it before it disappears.

I may passively push my book moving forward, and plan to basically link people back to this post over the weekend with my entries, but this will be the only time I straight-up ask you to purchase it. Please buy my book TODAY. Even if you’re not somebody who can utilize the book, I’m sure you know at least one person who can. If not, donate it to your library, church or local women’s charity. Give it to your therapist for one of their patients. Somebody you know can use this book. If you can’t afford a book, you could share this article with others on your blog with those who may be able to afford it, or need it. Come Monday, this book must be decently ranked on Amazon if it’s going to have a chance to maintain relevancy.

I would be deeply in your debt if you’d consider it and I would be happy to let you cash in a favor on me anytime. This isn’t about the 98 cents I get on each copy sold. I’m at a crossroads the next couple of days and need your help.

I’m so proud of the work Tony and I did on this book. Positive reviews from heavy-hitters like Dr. Doug Weiss and Dr. Mark Goulston have only bolstered my enthusiasm, but it’s now zero-hour.

If you’d like to read their reviews, learn more about the book, or purchase a copy, please use this direct link to head on over to Amazon.com (or whichever version you use in your country). Thank you.